Today, I’m going to preview something that you probably weren’t aware of or just didn’t care about – The 2009 Pro Bowl.

*Cues Sparty & Friends’ theme*

I know not a lot of people care about the Pro Bowl, but it’s still football. That means you should care and I should be previewing the game for you. Not everyone is a big fat liar like Hef who denies having ever seen teh Pro Bowl.

Never watched the Pro Bowl!? Well then, you sir, have never lived.

You know why they save the Pro Bowl for the last game of the season? Because its the best and they save the best for last. I read that in a book once so it must be true.

Do you mean to tell me that you aren’t excited to see Peyton Manning hand the ball off to Thomas Jones? Can you imagine how good that team would be if they had two great players like that? Or how about on the NFC side where we can stop wondering and finally know what it would be like if Kurt Warner had two talented wide receivers to throw to? Well, we’ll see that when Warner lines up and looks to either side and sees Anquan Boldin and Larry Fitzgerald! That offense is going to be unstoppable!

Except for the fact that these offenses are matched up against amazing defenses! Ray Lewis, James Harrison and Joey Porter in the same… defensive…. middlefield? Well, they’ll all be playing linebacker on the same team together. That’s what I’m trying to say. Can you imagine an offense scoring a single point on them?

Then on the other side you have a defensive line that is book-ended by Justin Tuck and Julius Peppers. And… Charles Woodson at corner back… Charles Woodson? Is there another Charles Woodson in the league now? Is he a rookie? Where did he go to school? Michigan. Really? Why that’s… Oh, never mind, he’s not playing due to injury. I wonder if Mo Williams is taking his place?

Hey, where are all the Chargers? No Darren Sproles? This is bullshit. Who made these picks?

Your official MLJ Pro Bowl prediction is NFC 3, AFC 0. If my prediction holds up, the NFC will cover. So, when you’re at your local betting parlor, make sure to take the NFC and the under. You can thank me on Monday. And if you’re into prop bets, let me explain why the NFC is going to win.

Because of the two all-stars that really matter – Jeff Feagles and John Carney. Those are football players. 42 seasons and 4-to-2 hairs between them. I think they’ll be the difference in this game. Jeff Feagles is going to set an NFL record with 1,000 punting yards (on the nose!) and John Carney is going to kick the game winner midway throught he second quarter. It will be from 70 yards into the Hawiian wind.

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