When non-March, college basketball is the biggest sports story of the night before, then that’s what we call a shitty sports night. I guess Pitt and Yukon UConn had quite the donnybrook last evening, but the highlights were boring so fuck it, I’m gonna yell at Todd McShay instead.
Lets say my sole reason for my current employment was a certain event that takes place here in about two and a half months. Lets say that the certain event is a giant prognostication. Lets say, over the course of said two and a half months, I, literally, proclaim every single possibility that I can fit in that time period, and when it’s all said and done, sit there smugly and say I’m right.
Well…then I’d be Todd McShay.
As a Browns fan, the Draft is my Super Bowl. I get excited to see who might lead the Browns back to prominence and love thinking about what might happen and all that good shit. It’s certainly easier thinking about the Browns sucking like they usually do, that’s for sure, so it’s natural that I pay attention whenever ESPN says “NFL Draft.”
It’s kinda like when you knock on the wall to get your dog all excited and then, 5 minutes later, your dog is sitting there looking at you thinking, “I’m gonna poop on the floor later, you asshole.” That’s how I feel whenever I see McShay’s little Mock Drafts on Sportscenter. HOW THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING MOCK DRAFTS NOW? Oh, that’s right, lets just waste some fucking time making another bullshit list just to fill some air time. Yea…NOTHING is going to change from here to late April, that makes a whole lot of sense.
But that’s not my problem with McShay, my problem is the fact that he has, literally, every single player occupying every spot over the course of these things. So far, he’s had the Browns taking Malcolm Jenkins (yay!), Aaron Curry, Everette Brown and I’m sure once the Combine is over, someone entirely different. And that’s the problem. These things don’t change in NFL personnel departments like this, only in McShay’s little world.
And I say McShay’s little world because not even Mel Kiper changes this much.
So, thank you, ESPN for parading your little prediction monkey in front of me for 10 minutes this morning while the channel changing thing on the treadmill was stuck. That’s just fucking awesome, and I’m sure the octogenarian 0.3 miles from a stroke next to me really appreciated my profanity laced tirade directed at that hedgehog looking motherfucker who knows as much about the draft as my left nut.
Have a good day everyone, except for you Todd McShay…you suck.
Laugh Out Loud
What if McShays right?
I wanna know if McShay thinks Riff Raff is gonna win G’s to Gents.
tampa…that’s the problem, anyone can guess enough times to finally get one right. you don’t get multiple choices in the game of life.
on a lighter note…dunkin donuts was out of medium and large cups today so i got an extra large coffee for 1.49. it’s the little things…
Rick was that on last night?
tonight. I wanna hang with Riff Raff and see what kind of posers that dude bangs
I just want to sell that guy my Adderall.
tampa, you ever go to oaklawn when you lived in the rock? i’m going in a couple weeks. if they were putting odds on me blacking out, i would bet the house.
“Draft Gurus” are like Weathermen. There’s no talent involved and no accountability.
No where is that.? When I lived in the Rock I stayed in the Rock, I went to P.B. one time that was it.
ty…true, but also like weathermen, there are good ones (mayock), retarded ones (mcshay) and popular ones for one reason or another (i liken kiper to al roker in this instance).
p.b., what the fuck did you go there for? oaklawn is the horse track in hot springs. good times for sure.
Good post Spence. Every mock draft I’ve seen so far has shown the Bears taking a WR in the 1st round. Then yesterday, we learned that John Tait is retiring. So yes, mock drafts in February are retarded.
Oh also, the Bears will probably still take a WR in the 1st round. Because they’re dumb.
Ark, My buddie is from P.B. that place smells like Gary, Indiana.
gary, indiana smells like the fart of someone who ate too many eggs.
dude, I’m not gonna lie, my mom was born in Gary, Indiana and knew the Jackson 5 and Chuck Wollery. Your insolence will not go unabated.
tampa, i was going to compare it to green bay, but yeah, gary will work. who would think that paper mills would smell worse than what i am about to drop off in the bathroom? p.b. is quite the shithole, i know a bunch of people from there.
Good thing Spencer doesn’t like college basketball, Joe Lundardi would be dead already.
/He starts predicting the bracket a week into the season
Good work Spence.
McShay is like the guy in the March Madness office pool. He fills out 10 brackets and hopes that 1 of them is right. If he does get 1 good one, he proclaims that he knew it and called it.
Being a Browns fan too, the draft makes me nauseous. It must be a contest between the Lions, Browns and several other poorly managed teams to see who can screw it up the most.
but dude…the browns always get “A’s” from the post-draft recap. they should be a dynasty by now.
/shoots self
//gives self a shot of adrenaline to the heart
///re-shoots self
so does that mean we can blame the “experts” instead of the former GM’s and their slapdicks?
that means we can blame whomever we please without consequence.
i personally blame hef for the browns draft failures. thanks hef, you fucking turdcutter.
At least the Browns draft picks make sense at the time. The Lions on the other hand, just pick names out of a hat.
/Thanks Hef for ruining the Lions too