Hey, asshole. You owe me money.
They screwed me throughout the playoffs, caused me constant pain and suffering and most importantly, cost me hundreds of dollars over that period. And what did it all stem from? Kurt Warner’s “resurgence” (or rebirth as far as he is concerned) and that shitty fucking sieve of a defense.
They didn’t really do much in the Wild Card round to raise my ire, but I quickly learned that it was all a set up. I figured their decent showing against the Falcons was a fluke because it was against a young team.
See, I’m in a Playoff fantasy league. Each week we get to pick a QB, RB, 2WR, TE, K, and D from all the players still involved in the Playoffs. There is money every week and at the end of the post season.
The Cardinals buried Jake Delhomme who I also now hate. Delhomme threw 5 picks, completed half his passes and lost a fumble. No player should ever do that against a team that gave up 26 points a game. That game took me from 4th to the bottom of the standings. And it’s not like Warner had a good game – 220 yards, 2 scores, 1 Int. Delhome has even a decent game, I finish the season in the money.
Since I found myself so far down in the standings, I had to start picking players that everyone else wouldn’t. I needed to make up ground. I took McNabb and DeSean Jackson. Again betting against a defense that wasn’t that good. The difference turned out to be Warner by 3 points. All the Eagles needed to do was get a fucking stop. They came out in the second half and showed what a bunch of raging pussies the Cardinals were. They almost blanked the Cards: punt, punt, punt, long ass touchdown drive, punt. The Cardinals had been exposed despite the fact that they held on.
So in the Super Bowl, I figured the Steelers would come out and punch them in their fucking mouths. And on top of that, my square was NFC 0, AFC 6. All I needed was two first quarter Steeler field goals to win 500 bucks. And I was so close. The Cardinals just had to get stop the Steelers in field goal range. 3-10 on the 44, the Cardinals give up an 11 yard catch to Heath Miller. They didn’t force another third down that quarter. The seconds melted away and I never got close to the cash again.
But the Cards had one last chance to make it up to me. Prove Ben Roethlisberger fraudulent. Could they even manage that? Of course not. Their defense still sucked. Throughout the Playoffs. If it wasn’t for the fact that Jake Delhomme sucks beyond comprehension they wouldn’t have looked good once this post season. They suck.
They sat back and let Ben Roethlisberger march 88 yards down the field in about 2 and a half minutes.
And Warner still managed to throw for 377 yards and three scores in the loss. Against the Steelers’ defense. Kurt Warner fucking sucks. Do you think its a coincidence that he had success with The Greatest Show on turf, sucked with the no-talent Giants, and again succeeding with Larry Fucking Fitzgerald and Anquan Boldin? Fuck Kurt Warner. First ballot Hall of Famer my ass.
Every dime I didn’t win over the last month can be directly attributed to the overachievement of the Cards’ shitty defense or Kurt Warner. I can’t wait until they miss the Playoffs next year. You want to know why they’re 30-1 to win the Super Bowl next year? Because they suck. And from now on, I hate the Cardinals.
Is this your longwinded way of saying the Buzzsaw earned your respect?
/single tear
Good to know you couldn’t come to Mexico because you were in a fantasy playoff money league with a bunch of dipshits.
CRM- “Just win baby” and thats big ben did. I thought the Cards covered? What the fuck is your unemployed ass doing gambling anyway?
Yea!
I agree with Tampa and the drug dealer. You could have flown to Mexico to meet strangers instead of spending money you don’t have. Does the GF know?
i like the drug dealer. not too sure about this bo character….
lol.
+1
Threadjack.
My recovery in the MLJ Hoops League has been nothing short of miraculous.
End threadjack.
i forgot all about that league when i got sick over christmas
Yeah from the looks of things 7-10th place quit trying a while ago.
You can trade me Kobe if you want sparty.
did i even have him in the lineup for his 61?
Haha, no. He has been wasting away on your bench.
fantastic!
i was doing really well up to that point
who the fuck buys dope from a mexican?
they got that black tar shit.
1-800-BETS-OFF
Killed Brad Nowell from Sublime.
no way, i lived in London and the black yardies had the tar, mexicans only come with the overpriced brown frown.
they have mexicans in london? that’s tomfoolery.
actually, they dont, and it is funny that my English friends called people “mexican” that they didnt like.
I’m just saying I never bought any yay or weed that was up to par from a mexican.
/
not racist at all