curtis-granderson-steals

Before we begin…

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!1!!!!111!!!1!

My, that was fun.

Whatever frustration I felt last summer following the Indians was quelled by the absolute, third trimester, hanger and Clorox abortion that was the 2008 Detroit Tigers.  Basically, everything that could go wrong went wrong in spectacular fashion, much to the glee of every other fanbase in the AL Central.  They got hurt by injuries, had key starters suck the proverbial coinpurse with gusto, got the ass end of the career of one of the greatest catchers in history, and, in the end, authored the most encyclopedic textbook on how NOT to build a baseball team.

Even if they were healthy, they weren’t any good.  They had one of the worst defensive infields with about as much range as a rabid junk dog on a 3 foot chain and the outfield wasn’t much better, which isn’t good if your pitchers are getting hit like BP on a regular basis.  Couple that with a bullpen that was beset by injury and age and you have the recipe for an epic fail.

And fail they did.

And I loved EVERY. FUCKING. MINUTE OF IT…because Michigan sucks.

(an aside: as I’m writing this, I’m watching The Rock.  If you could compare the 2008 Tigers to a movie, this would be it.  They were capable of huge explosions and excitement every now and then, but in the end, you have a crappy cast of poorly written for characters and a movie that ends up being one giant joke.  Fuck The Rock.  That movie was fucking terrible.  Like some octagenarian who hasn’t fucking moved in 30 years can take down an elite marine unit with every advantage possible.  Fuck you Michael Bay.)

Looking Ahead to 2009:

Out with Pudge, in with Gerald Laird.  Out with Edgar Renteria, in with Adam Everett.  Edwin Jackson and Brandon Lyon are in.  Gary Sheffield is still in.

Well…Laird COULD be worse and at least Everett has some range at SS.  So you got that going for you.

What this team needs is for Jeremy Bonderman to actually not suck.  Supposedly he’s some good pitcher, but he’s really…um, not.  At least Verlander is still there, and he’ll probably have a ridiculous year because he’s just too good, but outside of that, there’s really not much other than that Gallaraga kid and maybe Rick Porcello, but Rodney, and hopefully, Zumaya will be back, so the cupboard isn’t THAT bare.

They do have some pop in their lineup, and if they get the expected performance from Granderson, Cabrera and Ordonez, they’ll have a pretty potent offense that can become scary if they all get hot.  Lets be honest here, for as shitty as the Tigers played last year, their offense was a force.  Hell, who knows, Gary Sheffield may even do a thing or two and be that one vet who puts in one last solid season before fading to Bolivian.

What sucks:

Aside from the fact that they’re from Michigan?  Howabout the bullpen?

Will Rodney come back?  If he does, will he be any good?  Same question with Zumaya…the last time these guys did anything worth a shit was in 2006, and they’re still living off of that reputation.  Even if they are back to form, will it be all for naught considering their closer is basically a copy of Todd Jones, the embattled closer of last year who was brought to his knees by June?

And what about their defense?

Sure, Everett is a big upgrade on paper over the statue that was Reteria, but even then, they’re still not especially good.  Placido Polanco is pretty solid, but Inge and Cabrera aren’t the best, and even with Everett’s improved range, who knows if they’ll be anything more than slightly above average.

There’s still not a whole lot of speed on the team outside of Granderson…but, whatever.

What to expect:

To be honest, I expect the Tigers to contend for the AL Central.  The lineup, on paper, is deadly and the pitching simply can’t be as bad as it was last year.  Even if Lyons performs at a shaky level, there’s enough potential depth in the middle relief to provide something while that offense can hopefully churn out a few late runs.  I figure Verlander will return to form brilliantly and Bonderman will prove to be servicable and Galarraga (I don’t care if I keep spelling his name differently…I’m lazy), and maybe Procello, can get some solid run support and pitch well enough to help in the standings.

But with this team, it’s nothing more than a gut feeling.  There’s a lot of question marks across the board, and the types of injuries their key relievers are coming off of are never a sure thing when it comes to a full recovery.  That said, optimism rules this time of year, and considering I think the White Sox are going to blow big time, and the Twins and Royals suck, the Motor City Kitties should contend with the Indians for the AL Central crown, and who knows, maybe even a Wild Card if they can’t get the division.

My Prediction:

85-77, 2nd in the AL Central, 4 or 5 games out of the Wild Card.

Big years from Verlander and Cabrera, decent ones from Granderson, Ordonez, Porcello and Bonderman.  Zumaya and Rodney come back in some capacity but Lyons proves to be too volitile and costs them any chance they had for the postseason.  Their defense will be better, but still in the bottom half of the league, but they’ll bash their way to their share of wins.

The Tigers are a solid, albeit overpriced, team and, much to my chagrin, are a much better team than they proved last year.

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