It’s the final week of the old year (the new year starts when I return to work on Monday) and I can’t wait until it’s over. Your buddy Hef is a progressive sumbitch and he’s ready to forget the past and forge his way into the future. Hef lives in the now and in third person. Hell, he’s so edgy, he sometimes speaks in 4th person.
But enough about Hef, let’s talk about the future of the site for a second. As you know, pitchers and catchers report to duty in about a month and a half. Pretty soon MLJ will be a baseball site again instead of just the greatest multisport site on the internet. That’s right, we’re returning to our roots: our roots of alienating even our most loyal readers by continually hammering the same points over and over and over again. Eager to hear more about Eric “The Panda” Byrnes? Well the wait’s almost over. Want more evidence that Corey Patterson is the worst baseball player evar? Nick will scratch that itch in a few short weeks. Dying for more evidence, both statistical and anecdotal, proving that Derek Jeter is overrated and past his prime? Good christ almighty we’ve got tons.
So don’t worry, eager baseball fan. The new year means more of the same here at Major League Jerk. And we’ll get right back to it just as soon as these goddamn football games are over with.
Speaking of which, here’s what’s on TV tonight:
Eagles at Vikings: Roman and I had a conversation via gchat earlier today that went something like this:
Hef: Do the Giants want to face the Cards or the Vikings next week?
Hef: Probably the Cards right?
Roman: The Cards.
Hef: Cuz the Eagles whooped em good that one time.
Roman: The Giants can beat anyone.
Hef: So you want to face the Cards to prove you can beat anyone?
Roman: Fcuk you.
Hef: You talk Engrish real good.
Celtics/Knicks: Someone call the 80s when this matchup might have mattered. Oh yeah, and KG is a bitch.
Blazers/Lakers: This looks like an interesting matchup. I guess.
/runs away crying cuz nobody gchatted me today
Clown, did you get my e-mail?
/runs away crying because I’m in the same boat as clown…no gchats for me…
Also, you can talk in the 4th person? What is this, Finnegans Wake Jerk.com?
/F da Fakers
The Iggles are lucky they have Akers. They suck almost as much as the Vikings.
You suck Hef.
/Assante Samuel
Assante Samuel is a beast on offense.
I never thought I’d say this, but I agree with Assante Samuel.
This game is frustrating, but we are still winning.
He has Ass in his name LoL!
ROFLMAOWMIAGSLIAP!!!!!
Fetch you team blows asshole. The World Champions can beat anyone. Fuck the Iggles.
On MLB Network right now: Jamie Moyer is only 4 seasons away from hitting 300 wins.
Big Ifs:
If the Iggles and Cardinals win, the NFC championship game will be in AZ. ZOMG!
WHEN the Iggles and Cards win.
Gonzo >>> Roman
Fuck Fagadelphia and their Iggles.
What does this mean? I think it’s probably racist.
Just banged my ex-girlfriend for the last time because she comes on her monthly tomorrow and moves away on Friday. I went out with a bang(HA!).
/High Fives everyone even CRM
Pretty soon MLJ will be a baseball site again
I hereby tender my death certificate/resignation.
/call me when it’s football season’d