Good evening friends of excellence. Tonight is the first night of Hanukkah so I will not be around to talk about sporting events with you. Instead I will be enjoying the festival of lights in the privacy of my own home. Hanukkah’s one of those holidays where you are supposed to do nothing but enjoy the beauty of the candles as they sit in the menorah. In fact, you’re required to enjoy the beauty. The candle light is not allowed to be used for any purpose other than enjoyment. You’re not allowed to read, or search for something in the dark. This is why the center candle is used. It’s called the shamash (which means guard) because it protects you from accidentally using the light from the main candles for any utilitarian purpose. Man, Jews are legalistic.
As a bonus for all the antisemites who seem to frequent this site, here’s an article written by atheist cum asshole Christopher Hitchens about how Hanukkah celebrates ass backwards, anti-intellectualism. He’s right, but he’s still (as always) an asshole.
At any rate, here’s some of the games you might be watching tonight.
Panthers/Giants: Roman is excited for this game as are many others. The Panthers have flown under the radar a bit this year, and many people find them overrated. I think this is the NFC championship game myself. The Giants can clinch some stuff with a win. So can Carolina [ed. note: damn fine analysis there]
Knicks/Celtics: Man I hate KG. And Paul Pierce. And Ray Allen. Rondo’s okay.
Cavs/Thunder: The Cavs should win this game since they’re facing a sub .500 team on the road. But they could lose it because they’re frauds.
Wizards/Mavs: Speakin of frauds. Both of these teams are lame.
Firsties!
Sloppy Seconds!
Vikings, Steelers, and Cardinals are frauds.
Bigger fraud. Jets or Hef’s fantasy team?
Discuss.