Agony. Despair. Disrepute. Disgrace. Anger. Sadness. Shame. Fat. Stank. Ugly. Bad Haircut. Crying. Confused.
This is all of the stuff that I felt after watching the worst professional athletic display in the 30 year history of me being a sports fan. I don’t even know how I could talk about that game without my mouth becoming a rabid froth and me pulling out clumps of my hair. In fact, I won’t. I can’t. I’ve blacked out. I don’t remember anything about the game. I think there were a few fumbles, maybe some missed tackles. I don’t know. Who gives a shit?
I can’t think of anything more humiliating than being debacled like that when the whole nation is watching. Dammit, fuck me. Fuck Romo. Fuck Wade Phillips. Fuck Jerry Jones. Fuck Jason Garrett. Fuck Adam Jones. Roy Williams played like fecal matter. Owens and Witten were the only ones that seemed liked they were even trying.
Congrats to the Eagles for their dominance in that game. They’ll take care of the Vikings pretty easily and then beat the Giants again in Jersey with nary a problem. If I were them, I’d concentrate on game planning for the Falcons or Panthers.
To hell with the scores, I’m sure you already know who won. Here are your playoff pairings.
AFC
1. Tennessee Titties (13-3) bye
2. Shitsburgh Steelers (12-4) bye
3. City of Chumps Dolphins (11-5)
4. San Diego Chargers (8-8)
5. Indianapolis Dolts (12-4)
6. Baltiwhore Ravens (11-5)
Quality AFC quick thoughtters: Hahahahahaha, fuck you New England! It’s so awesome you finished 11-5 and you still missed the playoffs! Patriots fans rooted for the Jets and Brett Favre at the end and it didn’t pay off for you. Fuck you, you cheating pieces of shit…I think Ravens will be favored over the Dolphins, but I’m gonna go with the Dolphins. They play Sunday at noon CST on CBS…Indianapolis goes to San Diego and they play at 7:00 CST Saturday on NBC. Be very careful, Indy and all of your passionate followers. The LaDainian Beast has awoken. chargers by double digits…Roethlisberger suffering a concussion can’t be a good thing. Fuck the Steelers and their feo fanbase…
NFC
1. New Jersey Flukefag Giaqueers (12-4) bye
2. Caroline Panthers (12-4) bye
3. Minnesteroid Vikings (10-6)
4. Flukeizona Cardinals (9-7)
5. Hotlanta Falcons (11-5)
6. Philadelphia Eagays (9-6-1)
Quality NFC fast thinkies: Cardinals will host Atlanta at 3:30 CST on Saturday on NBC…Eagles go to Minnesota and play at 3:30 CST Sunday on Fox…My picks are Falcons and Eagles…Vikings would’ve made the playoffs anyway because the Bears lost to the Texans earlier in the day…Panthers tried to give the game and the passing record to the Saints, but New Orleans refused to oblige…Like the Cowboys, Tampa Bay shit the bed. Here’s a story of a Raiders fan getting ejected from the game in Tampa yesterday (for seemingly doing nothing but rooting for the wrong team)…
Why no nickname for San Diego?
I’d go with San Difago Charge-hers.
jared leto is hot.
Uh, shouldn’t a comment like that get the “mizerle” tag? Oh wait, it was mizerle who wrote it. No need for redundancy.
exactly.
Clown is so sad, he forgot to throw an 80’s music video.
How bout dem Cowfags!!!!!!wOOt
As for the iggles…a week of resting on their laurels will get them exactly where it always gets them…to a sloppy loss…
Bears Shit the bed. Apparently there is no way to stop Andre Johnson.
I’ve been sick all morning. I’ve gone to poop three times already. I’m thinking about making myself throw up. In a sign of solidarity, I even collapsed in the shower today.
Goddamn it.
Romo = worst.leader.evAr.
/shanoff’d
I realize that the Eagles are hot right now, but why is everyone so quick to jump on the Eagles bandwagon? The game is in MN and Phat Williams is coming back. Doesn’t that count for anything?
Clown.
pkiguy who is no longer pkiguy…If anyone equates a big win against a fraudy team to being hot…I give you a 10-3 loss to Washington the week before as Exhibit A in the case of them not being hot. I give them credit for capitalizing on every break going their way yesterday before the game. There is no way that Brian Fraudbrook runs for more than 80 against the Vikings…so I agree..Phuck Philly
It’s almost as not hot as losing two of your last three, including one of those losses to the fraudy, no-good, suck-ass Cowboys.
A sign of a hurting fan…keep calling back to a regular season win that meant nothing in the scheme of things