In my heart, you'll always be a Brave.

In my heart, you'll always be a Brave.

For the relevance of Mark Teixeira’s career.  The Anaheim first basemen recently sat down with members of the Red Sox ownership and it quickly became clear that Marky Mark would not be carrying his bat to Beantown.

Here’s quote machine, Scott Boras’ take on the meeting:

While it was a very positive meeting, Mark was candid and advised he is in the process of making a decision and is now attempting to eliminate teams.

Let’s run that baby through the bullshit meter and we come out with…..”What a waste of time.  Mark said ‘$200M.’  They said ‘no fucking way we can spend that green.’  I said you’re now on the ‘no’ list and we parted ways.  It was very cordial.”

According to sources close to the Red Sox, the $180M offer was “approximately $20 million more than the eight-year proposal from the Angels.”  This places the Red Sox’s offer ahead of Anaheim’s but behind Washington’s.

So let’s give that a once over.  It appears that Scott Boras has himself another big name client that places money so much higher than winning that he’s actually considering signing with the Washington Nationals, a team so bad that it makes Arod’s signing with Texas look optimistic.  The Nationals were the exact definition of replacement level last year.  They won 59 games and were never in contention for even a minute.  Now let’s say that Marky Mark has himself a year to end all years and manages to be worth a WARP of 10 (he was worth 7+ in 2006 and 6 in 2007).  Let’s say that happens, the Nationals would still only manage 69 wins next year, leaving them in last place in the dismal NL East [Ed. any division that contains the Mets will always be called dismal]. 

Didn’t he learn anything from the ARod debacle?  Didn’t he learn that getting paid that much while playing for a loser makes you a lightening rod for bad press.  That he will absorb every ounce of blame and be called overrated from day 1?  Doesn’t this make sense?  Wouldn’t a team like Boston be a much better fit?  He doesn’t have to be the only punching bag should things take a turn for the worse.  That’s JD Drew’s job.  Plus there’s  a ton of guys making money on that team so there will be a bit more comraderie.  The highest paid player in Washington in Cristian Guzman.  I’m sure they’ll have a lot to talk about.

So fuck you, Mark Teixeira you greedy cocksmoke.  Have fun wasting your next 8 years in obscurity with some podunk team that probably will resent you as much as you resent them.  And for the record, this isn’t about your not signing with Boston.  It’s about your not signing with a winner.  It’s about taking your talent and wasting it on some shit squad that doesn’t stand a chance at competing.  So yeah, have fun being the guy that opposing fans mock.

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