I’m pretty sure that stigs forgot (again) that he has UTL tonight, so I’m kind of doing a precursor fill-in. It’s been a wonderful year here at Major League Jerk, and I’d like to thank our (checks stats) eleventy million readers for being a part of the greatest thing on the internet. Without you we would be still be awesome, just not as much. Read the rest of this entry »

My buddy forwarded me this in an email a couple weeks back that someone from his work sent him.  We had a good laugh, and decided this needed to be made, if only for the fresh aroma of bacon grease that will invade your dwelling.

My only beef (get it, hehe) with the recipe is step #6.  If I’m going to eat this, I’m going to eat it like a champion.  I’m keeping it rolled up and eating it like a hot dog, bratwurst or banana if you prefer a gay’s analogy.  Either way you slice it (i’m so punny), you are probably going to die a pretty fast death after eating this thing.  My guess is when an autopsy is conducted, your arteries will look exactly like picture #7.

My friend says he’s cooking this up on New Year’s Day for anyone that crashes at his crib.  I’ve got plans to meet some friends at 10AM New Year’s Day to watch the Hawkeyes dismantle the Ol’ Ball Coach and the Gayme Cocks.  I am kinda pissed I will be missing out on this, but at least I’ll be alive to carry on the memories of my bacon loving friends.

A quick google search has this recipe at a shitload of sites, but I’ll link up this one because they have some other sweet bacon related products.

The inspiration of this post is Empire’s The Fifty Films That Defined 2008. I’ve seen 15 of these movies. Here’s what I thought of them – plus a couple more that showed up in American movie theaters and DVD players in 2008.

The Dark Knight

One of everyone’s top films of the year, I’ve seen it a handful of times now. In fact, I just watched it last night with Lauren and her parents. I was going to clean my house for tonight’s big shindig (upwards of 5 people should be attending), but I couldn’t walk away. Heath Ledger was incredibly awesome and I can’t imagine how insane a Batman Vs. Joker sequel-type movie would have been. Read the rest of this entry »

Notice who’s first and last in this particular category.

Don’t leave us Brett! Please come back.

Yesterday, much to my surprise, Mike Shanahan was let go by the Denver Broncos in what many believe is a reaction to Shanahan’s unwillingness to fire his defensive coordinator and Broncos owner Pat Bowlen’s desire to block Scott Pioli from landing in Kansas City. Bowlen, considered one of the best owners in professional sports, had his eyes way too far ahead and really dropped the ball by firing Shanahan, and is now faced with the prospect of having to completely retool the personnel throughout the organization, from the front office to the coaching staff to the players who will almost certainly not fit the new coach’s scheme (unless they hire Gary Kubiak from Houston).

Now, before we go any further, I should let it be known that I think Mike Shanahan is a genius and an elite coach rivaled only by Bill Belichick. You’re probably laughing your ass off at that, but I’m talking about pure football acumen, and while Belichick had an incredibly stable front office and personnel department all working together, Shanahan was left holding the bag, being forced to do everything in an organization himself. I’ll admit that he’s not the best guy in the draft and has pretty much put handcuffs on himself with questionable decisions on that end, but considering that he screwed himself over, wasting numerous draft picks and making boneheaded free agent signings, the product he put on the field, at least offensively, was more than capable of hanging with any team and against any style. Read the rest of this entry »

This is Danneel Harris.  IMDB says she had recurring roles on One Tree Hill, JAG and One Life to Live.  She was also in the second Harold and Kumar movie.  My guess is her acting is subpar, but her body is fucking smokin’  so she keeps getting these acting jobs.  Who am I to complain?  I wonder if she wants to spend New Year’s with me.

I always thought people should get the days before and after New Year’s Day off of work.  First of all, no one in an office gets anything done on New Year’s Eve day.  People just lounge around until it’s time to go home and commence drinking.  Most people get New Year’s Day off to be hungover and watch football.  Sometimes though, one day is not enough to kick the NYE hangover.  Besides, with all the extra bowls added, and now the BCS bowls are all spread out, January 2nd brings us a good slate of games as well.  I always make sure to have off on the 2nd because I’m one of the people that parties a little too hard and needs that extra day.  This weekend is going to be especially sweet because January 2nd is a Friday so I will have a nice 4 day weekend.  We can only hope the games to come in the next 10 days can be as exciting as last night’s games:

Maryland 42, Nevada 35 (Humanitarian Bowl):  Ralph Friedgen, who looks just like Read the rest of this entry »

Instead of giving you some boring bullshit rant or doing LeBron’s Birthday Pt. 2, I’m going to give you something quick and easy to digest…LeBron wasn’t the greatest athlete born on 12/30, Tiger Woods was, and will forever be unless LBJ does something truly ridiculous in his career.  So to celebrate the birth of perhaps the greatest MAN to ever compete, I give you this.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qHGcAEJiLcU&hl=en&fs=1]

Now talk amongst yourselves.

This has been on a steady loop on my computer for the last hour.  Well done.

(h/t KSK)

Put yourself in the Washington Wizards’ shoes. You’re 6-23. One of your better players (Gilbert Arenas) has yet to play a game this season. Your best player (Caron Butler) has just gone down with an injury and will miss some games. You’re still trying to win, but you know you have your work cut out for you.

What do you do?

Easy. Luck into playing a full-strength team from the West who is tied for 3rd best record in their conference going into the game. Oh yeah, and play them ON THE ROAD. And then go ahead and beat them.

The Western Conference: Propping up Eastern teams records since October 2008.