I didn’t know if I could put hell in the title or if Hef and his droopy vagina would get mad at me, so heck will have to suffice.

With the recent trade of Matt Holliday to the A’s, the Twins apparently are feeling a little left out. They have been searching for a third baseman, and they have been kicking the tires on Garrett Atkins. While Atkins overall numbers look pretty good, his numbers away from Coors are .244/.303/.415 for the last two seasons. I’m not in the MLB scheduling office, but something tells me that the Twins will play a grand total of zero games at Coors Field for the next few years. Also, just go ahead and try to guess the numbers that Twins third basemen put up this year. Answer after the jump..283/.330/.399. That’s right. Those numbers are better than Garrett Atkins’s numbers. Fortunately for Twins fans everywhere, the Reds are also interested in Garrett Atkins. Cmon Walt Jocketty, get it done!

Also, via MLB Trade Rumors, the Twins are also interested in recently acquired Huston Street. I’m no Cortes, but I have heard any deal of that type would send Michael Cuddyer to Colorado, which is a good thing, but if Nick Blackburn or Glen Perkins goes over, I might have to quit being a Twins fan.

Bill Smith, I still semi believe in you, please make this happen, or not make this happen I guess.

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