I’ve had a bunch of things I’ve wanted to talk about that aren’t really deserving of a full post, so I’ll just throw out a bunch all at once. Enjoy.
Random Observation 1: The Panda’s habitat might soon become crowded:
All-time Diamondback favorite Luis Gonzales has expressed publicly that he would like to return to the Dbacks to finish his career. He has said that he does not care if he doesn’t play, he would like to just help out in any way possible. This would be a difficult task of course, because the Snakes have a set outfield of Justin Upton, Chris Young and Eric Byrnes. Furthermore, Conor Jackson did an excellent job filling in for Byrnes in left field last year while the Panda was out at the Vet with a sore paw. While Gonzo could take Tony Clark’s spot as the grizzled veteran, he would still have no spot in the outfield. He also throws like a girl due to his age and arm surgeries. The team could place him at first base, but is that a responsible allocation of resources? Hef says no.
Random Observation 2: My wife is a big Eric Byrnes* fan:
I totally had a moment Friday night while trick or treating. My wife must be a huge Eric Byrnes fan. How else to explain this costume for HeJew II? They symbolism escaped me until we were out on the trail hoboing around for candy. Originally I accepted her initial explanation that she chose the costume because it would be her finaly chance to dress him up in something cute and cuddly since he always copies his brother’s rough and tumble ways. But if that’s the case, why a panda? Everyone knows that a panda will literally rip your face off. That’s just science. So I fail to see the cute and cuddly side of that. And secondly, that costume was like a wool sweater which, as everyone knows, is worthless in Arizona. When we were out on Friday night it was something like 80 degrees. That’s t-shirt weather. This was planned insubordination.**
Rendom Observation 3: Jason Werth fans love Jason Werth:
Forgive me for writing a process story and getting a little inside baseball on you (/West Wing lingo’d), but we need to talk about Jason Werth. Since October, this post has been steadily climbing up the MLJ top posts chart and is now sitting in third place all time. Take some time and read the post, I’ll wait. You back? That’s right, it’s a post about how Jason Werth looks like a wrestler named The Edge. That’s all it is. I was confused when it was first written and I’m still confused now. But apparently, Werth’s fans love the post.
What’s more, Jason Werth is the number one term that leads readers to our site. More than “panda,” “major league jerk,” and “Hef is a sex god.” [Ed. note: The term "jerk tube" which has lead almost 200 people to our site has probably disappointed all 200 of those people. Sorry for wasting your precious wanking time, fellas]. To all of you random readers, thank you for the page views. We offer substantive analysis and opinions too. I promise.
Random Observation 4: Daylight Saving Time is fucking my shit up:
For six months out of the year, the world is great. Arizona is on Pacific Coast time since we don’t acknowledge the existence of DST. So while you morons change your clocks, we sit still and watch the world change around us. It’s almost zenlike. TV shows come on an hour earlier; I never have to think before I call friends in Seattle or California, etc. But now, oh now, now life has been given the old switcheroo. Now, I have to stay up an hour later to watch games. Instead of starting at 7, games on the West Coast start at 8. The Daily Show and Countdown all shift to a later time which means I need to change my routine. I’m like one of those endangered species who suddenly realized that it’s a little warmer out due to global warming and doesn’t know how to act anymore. My ice caps are melting!
/end wimpy rant
*For those of you who are unfamiliar with the origin of the Panda’s nickname, please click here.
**By the way, if you think this first observation was anything other than an excuse to show a picture of my kid then you don’t know Hef.
That extra one hour of sleep on Saturday night was bad ass.
you freaking commie bastard.
Calling it now, LSU beats Alabama Saturday.
You can tell Arizona’s polls are tightening because I keep seeing Rev. Wright ads on TV. Haven’t seen any negative advertising all year and now….
1 more day.
Bammer > Teauxgers
BOOK IT!!
keep debating, wake up early and vote, or wait til after work
I’m voting tomorra at 6AM.
/ctl + p
MLJ…come for the witty banter…stay for the gratuitous photos of our children
/Christmas is coming…just beware, Mrs Roman already has the outfit for the Christmas photo…stay away from this site the week of 12/21 if you don’t like cuteness..just stay away
MLJ…come for the witty banter…stay for the gratuitous photos of our children.
Who wants to see a picture of HeJew as Indiana Jones? Anyone?
hmmm, you want to post a picture of lil Sparty as Superman?
I voted saturday morning…walked right in and performed my American duties without waiting. it was gloriously non-invasive to the rest of my day; and that’s all that really matters when voting.
I do! I am certain it will get the same views as CRMs sexification of MLJ last week.
who wants to see mizerle dressed up as super mario!? UBER cute!
anyone??
I early voted and it was suspiciously invasive. When did poll workers start giving prostate exams?
people asked me what i was for halloween as lil Sparty received his candy. i told them i was a republican. they were scared shitless.
My awkward Halloween story…A little girl and her older sister came trick or treating…The younger one was dressed up the older one was not…The older one asked for candy so I ask what are you supposed to be? She says..I am a 23 year old and then does a little bounce and smile..so I ask are you really 23? and she says no..I’m 15. I said get off my porch and don’t tell another guy that joke again. Mrs. Roman said I was mean..I said I was looking out for her best interests.
did she kinda look like Alvira?
so did you get a number for me?
/fetch
I love seeing pictures of my kids.
mize…let’s see it.
If I click on that link at the end does it take me to the Outfield?
@spence – I’ll put it up on facebook and edit out the smoking hot Princess Peach (mrs. mizerle) standing next to me so you perverted fuckers can’t get a hold of that.
I can give you a really cute picture of a Buckeye football player too! He thinks he’s the shit…I’m doomed when he’s a teenager.
Where does the ‘tude come from with someone that isn’t even FOUR!?
mize…excellent. tho luigi would’ve been a better choice. luigi gets no respect.
I’m not absolutely certain since we didn’t try out my theory, but I’d say princess peach looks better on my wife than luigi would.
I do agree that luigi gets no respect though.
my point was luigi > mario…
plus you coulda gone as “adulterer luigi” which is high comedy just thinking about it.