Nothing to Click Here - MLJ Writers Suck
Our most vocal female reader, hockey fan and NBA hater appears to be on her period and has some words for the braintrust here at MLJ. There is nothing hotter than a girl who thinks her opinion matters way more than it does. Sportsgal’s words to follow:
Recently, I’ve been experiencing some tough times mostly due to my perilous job situation (I find out December 1st whether or not I’ll be laid off). As a result, people are annoying me more than usual and my stupidity tolerance is at an all time low. I try to give myself a temporary reprieve by coming to sites like MLJ and TBL and arguing with people over their idiotic comments. However, I have absolutely zero interest in anything NBA related. I think it is one of the most boring sports to watch in person and on TV. Most of the time, I can skip over the NBA posts and move on to something I find more interesting. But today, it seems the fucking NBA is inescapable on this site and it has caused me to get really really really pissed off. So now I’m going to write about some of the MLJ contributors to demonstrate how something as lame and contrived as a post bashing people is more interesting than professional fucking basketball.
Hef - Where do I begin? Let’s see… all of his “First!” jokes aren’t funny, he constantly recycles comments that weren’t funny in the first place, and generally his comments about other people are more rude than funny. The only positive thing about him is he’s the most coherent writer on the site, which really isn’t saying much.
Nick P - He constantly mocks people for complaining about sports they don’t like, then he proceeds to mock all of the sports he doesn’t like. Which, by the way, is everything except baseball, the NBA and Ohio State. Congratulations on being an absolute hypocrite.
Clown - You can be funny, but most of the time you’re a prick. The Cowboys suck, the state of Texas sucks, and you suck too.
Rex - I know there is no way you get as much tail as you claim. When you use the word “cougar” in your posts, I believe you slept with an actual cougar and not a human female.
Spencer - Surprisingly, you don’t bother me as much as the other MLJers. I’m used to you being incredibly angry about really stupid shit, and generally ignore any post you write about golf, Ohio State, or other worthless topics.
Roman - I really can’t say too many bad things about you either. I skip all your Mets columns and most of the time skim what you write since it’s filled with spelling and grammatical mistakes. But that’s ok, you’re nice to me most of the time and that’s what matters in my book.
I have problems with Fetch, Stigs and CRM too, but you get the picture.
Now, onto the links:
Go, fire up Chips!! College football >>>>>>>>>>>>>> NBA
It pains me to see this chick interviewing hockey players.
If you honestly think football players spend their time checking out a win/loss/tie column during the course of the football season, then you’re a gigantic moron. Even Donovan knows he wasn’t the only person unaware of ties in the NFL.
I honestly think I’d go see this the next time I’m in Vegas. It’s fun to see “famous” people’s boobs.
I’m sorry, but you can’t have a fucking Led Zeppelin tour without Robert Plant.
There is nothing a good mother won’t do to make her son happy (7th one down).
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Comments
RexKramerDangerSeeker See, this is where you went wrong:
Rex - I know there is no way you get as much tail as you claim. When you use the word “cougar” in your posts, I believe you slept with an actual cougar and not a human female.
Other than that, spot on, if a bit loser’ish.
romanwarhelmet You can comment on my grammar all you want but please leave the spelling out of this…it is not my fault Spell check blows
stigs i am kind of insulted i got left out of this. possibly after reading the intro, she’ll feel different.
RexKramerDangerSeeker actually, the more i really read this, fuck you and the high horse you rode in on. waaaahhhh, i’m losing my job like half of all other americans will at some time in their life. waaaahhhh….
/recognizes the signs
//if someone has dibs on your tv, can i have your record collection?
romanwarhelmet I also want to say as the most linked d00d on the site and the “talent” (you need to write to reclaim the title Fetch) others think I write more gooder than you portray. My Pedro piece was brilliance.
/If Rex gets the Records can I have the Victrola?
sportsgal116 cbh, how many games have ended in a tie in the past 10 years? You make it sound like ties happen all the fucking time. My problem with people making this a big deal are those that said the outcome was affected by him not knowing about ties. Bull shit.
cbh49er Please point me to where I made it seem like it happens all the time.
I also said that the outcome wasn’t affected by him not knowing.
Shove it up your ass Tampa
stigs for the record, Donovan F. McNabb is from Chicago, as are Tampa Bo and sportsgal. this is probably why they are defending him.
NickP I skip all your Mets columns and most of the time skim what you write since it’s filled with spelling and grammatical mistakes. But that’s ok, you’re nice to me most of the time and that’s what matters in my book.
Was the comma splice/run-on in the latter sentence an ode to Roman, or is your grammar potentially not up to snuff, either?
/I’ll hang up and listen.
Intern CRM Yes, it’s very likely that athletes don’t check the standings. That makes complete sense.
illformula +1 SG. I love you experience some pure hatred before closing time. It makes the ride home more enjoyable. Thanks.
sportsgal116 I’m sure they get standings during their meetings, but do you really think the coaches are writing them down as 5-5-0?
CBH, I asked you how many times ties happen because you implied people are idiots for not knowing a rule that rarely ever happens. I guarantee more players are aware of the tuck rule than they were ties (until this weekend).
spencer096 so you read all the people you “hate’s” articles and ignore pretty much everything roman and i write?
seems par for the course.
/RIP 2008 golf…4 more months my precious. 4 more months.
cbh49er I’m glad Donovan said it, it has been eye opening to me how many people didn’t know an NFL game ended in a tie.
sportsgal116 I don’t read your stuff because I don’t like most of the subject content. IMO, golf is boring, the Mets are boring and Ohio State is boring. I skip the NBA posts unless I’m going to comment about how much I hate the NBA.
romanwarhelmet I’ll boring all of you…Daniel Murphy..1500 words…coming at you..Manana…I will call it “1500 words not read by SG by the poor spelling, grammatically incorrect RomanWarHelmet”
Tampa Bo “I’m glad Donovan said it, it has been eye opening to me how many people didn’t know an NFL game ended in a tie.”
So does this mean Donovan made the NFL smarter as a whole?
cbh49er I guess he did, while also making me realize how dumb most of the NFL players are.
romanwarhelmet It is amazing how little players pay attention considering the have a league mandated rules of the game seminar every year in training camp
Tampa Bo CBH-They are football players they are not that smart to begin with most of them passed school because their schools needed them for economic and public gain. This shouldn’t be shocking.
cbh49er Ok, I guess I should have qualified that. I didn’t realize how dumb they were when it came to the sport they have played and in all likelihood followed most of their lives.
sportsgal116 have a league mandated rules of the game seminar every year in training camp
Yeah, it makes a ton of sense for them to spend time talking about ties that happen once every 5 years over something like the 50 page offensive play book, or the incredibly intricate rules that result in penalties during a game.
romanwarhelmet I don’t know about the smarts of the palyers..all I know is my quarterback understood the rule regarding his entire body having to be past the line of scrimmage for it to be a forward lateral and a Philly led team’s quarterback didn’t know that a team could tie..I might add that my quarterback has a Super Bowl ring and the Philly quarterback is a useless choker
cbh49er Probably because we have a former Bear as our coach.
/Not really, I like Mike Singletarry, just the only comeback I had
romanwarhelmet sportsgal..apparently it does…all of the players have to sit through a league given seminar administered by officials…ALL RULES…ALL OF THEM…are discussed every single year…even ones that rarely occur
rekcalsa all I know is my quarterback understood the rule regarding his entire body having to be past the line of scrimmage for it to be a forward lateral
Pretty sure it was your coach that knew that…your QB just got lucky that he was still a bit behind.
sportsgal116 I’m not annoyed by this “OMG, HE DIDN’T KNOW ABOUT TIES?!” bullshit not because I’m a huge Donovan McNabb fan, but because I think people are blowing it completely out of proportion.
cbh49er Donovan was probably talking to some reporter during that part of the seminar about how the Eagles are actually better than everyone and then he was thinking about how he wouldn’t follow that talk up on the field.
sparty SG-this is how sports are covered now. of course it is blown out of proportion. if they weren’t, George Michaels Sports Machine would still be the show to watch for highlights. they have to fill the air time.
romanwarhelmet I really don’t care about it either..if he was not playing all out becuase of it then there is a problem (not the case here)
Rek..Eli told TC the rule and made sure to let him know is is always cognizant of field position
NickP I still don’t think it’s been blown out of proportion. Granted, I haven’t seen ESPN this entire week.
But this is a basic rule of the game. You have to be a complete mental fucktard not to know it.
romanwarhelmet I do believe that if you are being paid $15 mill a season to quarterback and NFL Franchise it might be in your best interest to understand a basic rule of the game like whether you can win, lose or tie
spencer096 Eli is smart? Shit, had me fooled. He makes Ben Roethlisberger look like a member of MENSA.
sportsgal116 And I think you have to be a complete mental fucktard to call someone stupid for not knowing a rule that rarely ever happens in football and is rarely ever discussed.
arkbadger Damn I miss the Sports Machine.
Eli went to Ole Miss, therefore he is a total douche, it doesn’t really matter how smart he is.
/science.
romanwarhelmet SG…It is not some rare thought of rule. OT is played all the time and is announced at the coin flip that they are playing one 15 minute sudden death quarter. Maybe he could have picked it up right there if he forgot his 10 years of rules seminars
cbh49er Because of this I am convinced some NFL players don’t know there is such a thing as a safety or offensive pass interference.
NickP Rarely ever discussed? It’s fucking mentioned every time the first team in OT doesn’t score.
A thought: just because you personally don’t mention something doesn’t mean it’s not mentioned.
sparty if there was something to get up in arms about when it comes to sports coverage this week, it was the fact that the Cowboys shitty win against the Skins led off SportsCenter the next day, over Pujols winning the MVP and Cuban being indicted by the SEC.
/Clown’d
clown If a punter is standing in his end zone and he kicks the ball between the uprights behind him, does it count as a field goal for the kicking team? It rarely happens, so I don’t know.
/McNabb via SG
stigs sparty, how many guys do you got at S&F? we should get together and play a baseball game. spence could go high and tight on Miz and it would be on.
mizerle06 usually only the ladies have bingo wings, but I made an exception for you, spence.
bingo wings - chubby upper arms that if the girl was playing bingo and waved her arm while shouting “Bingo” the upper arm would jiggle back-and-forth.
mizerle06 I’d charge the mound and slap that shit-eating grin off of spence’s face in a strahan-like manner.
sparty sparty, how many guys do you got at S&F? we should get together and play a baseball game. spence could go high and tight on Miz and it would be on.
can i trade Miz for Gonzo?
cbh49er My bball performance improved immeasurably when I would be high, sure I would be winded after about 15 seconds but man my shot was silky smooth.
spencer096 listen…i’ve jacked 3 HR’s and hit .667 in 4 games this fall. MLJ is going to fucking own all you bitches.
spencer096 sparty…we’d pwn you in that too. im 6′ 200 lbs of twisted steel and sex appeal. we’d pwn you in any sport you guys could think of. even cricket. ill fuck those wickets up.
spencer096 ok…i need a break. the e-trash talking is getting a little ridiculous.
punch me in the neck? youre a sick fuck, mize.
cbh49er More evidence of dumb NFL players.
So I turned around looking at him like, uh, do I know you? And his response was “I pay your salary, I’m a season ticket holder.” Now, what do season tickets cost? Twenty thousand dollars? Pay my salary? Man, I don’t make $20,000.
spencer096 stigs…fuck that. they can have a bucket of dill pickle sunflower seeds, and that’s it. we’re not giving up that sweet, sweet jalapeno hot salsa bucket or the BBQ bucket.
stigs S&F is soft. you got no one to go across the middle on our hard hitting safeties. you’re WNBA.
/irish
mizerle06 the side of the neck, spence. not the front. I’m not all about crushing your larynx.
sparty fuck them miz, I ain’t trading you. we are gonna play some backyard football, and I want all the SEC I can get.
spencer096 mize…you’d rather just pinch my jugular or carotid artery? damn man, that’s cold.
clown All bias aside, we would kill ya. Ya’ll are linked by the pasty basement mofos at deadspin and we are backed by the hardcore sumbitches at ESPN like Ron Franklin and the Schwab.
Plus you throw like sportsgal.
/blogger science
spencer096 ya’ll’ll (grammatical brainsplosion) have no shot. do you have any idea how crazy our north dakotan TE can get?
sparty you can have ill and that greg oden like knee. we will take Gus to kick field goals for us. who is old enough to know who that is?
sportsgal116 Well now that I’m on Team Sparty, get ready for me to tackle your preppy, pot smoking ass. And i fully plan on wearing little boy shorts, a tight tank top and baby oil so no one can tackle me.
spencer096 SG…you couldn’t tackle me if you tried. id stiff arm your ass to the ground, beanie wells style.
sportsgal116 Bullshit dude, all I’d have to do is dangle some Funions in front of you and you’d come running right to me.
spencer096 cbh…shut up, im talking tough on the interwebs. it’s all the rage, supposedly.
spencer096 fuck funyuns (/sportsgal’d) that shit’s nasty.
if it was a falafel i’d be helpless.
sportsgal116 yes, sparty, that’s the plan. He already said he loved me (see comment at 4:03) so I’m sure I’ll be spending the night at his place soon enough.
cbh49er I’d buy this on PPV.
http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2008/football/nfl/11/19/jags.ap/index.html
arkbadger Troy Williamson is a bitch. I was pissed as hell when the Vikings drafted him in the first place, much less that high. Fuck that dude, the mustache would beat his ass.
mikeychx i am very sad i missed this….i lauged my ass off all the way threw the comments
/stigs’d
Why is it such a hard concept to grasp that a person IS an idiot for not knowing a game can end in a tie when games have ended in a tie while they have been in the league?
No, it didn’t affect the outcome of the game but people aren’t wrong to call Donovan an idiot or any other player who doesn’t know that rule an idiot as well.
Also, that doesn’t even cover Donovan wanting to know if the playoffs or Super Bowl would end in a tie. Or the fact that the team he played in the NFC Championship the Carolina Panthers had just a week before played in a 2 OT game. Pretty sure he watched the game tape on that one. Did he completely forget that happened?
So a bunch of other guys in the league don’t know it either, I guess that makes Donovan smart? No it makes them all fucking idiots.
Ok so now Tampa you can start saying we should kill Donovan for it and SG can type in all caps. Go.
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