Today was a wonderful day.  I got into the office and didn’t have a blasting weed hangover, I listened to my band of the month, Iron Maiden on the way in while chugging a Monster and singing along to “Run to the Hills.”  I actually had some clean laundry and I ironed my shirt.  I had Lebanese food for lunch.  Like I said, wonderful day.

But there’s one thing in life I hate…I hate having shit repeated to me.  Actually, hate is a little too benign of a word.  Whenever someone repeats directions to me, like I’m some kind of fucking moron who doesn’t remember things for a variety of reasons, my first reaction is to shank that person.  Yes, shank.  My second reaction is to let that person I know exactly what they want done…and then not do it and leave.  See, when someone tells me something twice, that’s a sign of disrespect, that I’m not going to remember your PRECIOUS AND IMPORTANT instructions because I’m not nearly as smart and on top of things as you are.

Oh, but I have a photographic memory and am incredibly, INCREDIBLY cynical?  Well, kiss your task goodbye, asshole.  I NEVER forget to do things.  I just simply choose not to do them and weigh my daily events accordingly.  If someone doesn’t give me my proper respect, well, aw shucks, they’re gonna have to get someone else to do it.

Where am I going with this?  I’m glad you asked because I’m going to air a little MLJ dirty laundry.  While Roman was writing his brilliant piece comparing 20th century Germany to the Mets and Hef was telling us why the Angels aren’t in the ALCS, he was simultaneously, along with CRM, reminding me that I had UTL this evening on the Batphone about 20 times each like it was funny (well, it actually kinda was, BUT NEVER THE LESS!!!).

Now, I was considering a variety of avenues of revenge…from simply not doing UTL to writing 3,500 words about how Sergio Garcia can hit a 250 yard 4 iron when he’s 160 lbs. dripping wet to writing 3,500 words on how Terrelle Pryor is going to go down as the greatest college football player ever.

But I didn’t.  Instead I rambled…moral of the story: kids, don’t smoke dope.

What’s on tonight…

First episode of Big Break X: Michigan…10 Golf Channel

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