Well, what a fantastic day here at the compound. Hefler showed up and dropped two posts of knowledge on our asses. Well, one of knowledge and the other one was mocking “New Yorkers” but I am sure if that had a New England accent attached it would apply equally. Spencer continued his tour of the great College Football venues. He did the Big 12 and, well, apparently it sucks. I made a rally cry to Cubs Nation. And clown beats his two year old. All of this leads us to tonight. We have a few baseball games. One of which will most likely be over by the time you get home. We have the Vice-Presidential debate where and old guy and a Nickel battle it out to…well…I don’t know. Be the person behind the person. I am sure 3 of you are intrigued. So let us please take a look at tonight’s games:
Rays 6 White Sox 4 (Game One)- Evan Longoria is already the clutchiest clutch ever to clutch with 2 homers, 3 RBIs and a stolen base. I am sure Fetch will recap this thoroughly in the morning.
Brewers/Phillies (Game Two) – CC Sabathia on 3 days rest (AGAIN!!!) vs Brett Myers coming off a fucking shelling his last time out. The Brewers may have a real shot to tie this up if Myers goes into shithead mode. If Myers is on the CC is going to have to be perfect. Not really mind shattering analysis but sometimes the truth is simple.
Dodgers/Cubs (Game Two) – Chad Billingsley vs Carlos Zambrano. First off, I want to relay to you that Sportsgal thinks I am a flaming butthead for saying the Wrigley crowd was dead. Apparently, her place is three blocks away from Wrigley and she heard the crowd the whole time. She wants me to analyze the game. So I will. The key to this whole thing is Carlos Zambrano. If Z shows up and shuts down the Dodger lineup, I feel the Cubs carry that to victory. If the walking shitshow that is Bad Z shows up all bets are off. I love Chad Billingsley but who knows how he acts in this situation. However he does, he is still WAAY better than Chris Young.
first…
and you all are hookers…with diseases.
first…
and you all are hookers…with diseases.
/spencer’d
//and post modern’d
You know Fetch already forgot that he has Quality Start. tomorrow.
post moderen’d huh? you just come from the art museum there college boy?
Don’t be so quick to cum upon the tits of rage!
College boy?!?!?? How dare you. I’m Joe Six Pack. I can’t name Supreme Court Cases and can’t name any magazines or newspapers that I read because I read them all.
I hope to be VP some day.
well…i got nothin.
http://www.nypost.com/seven/10022008/sports/yankees/a_rod__brady_a_budding_bromance_131838.htm
I know i am late on this, but A-Rod is such a tool.
i know…maybe if he was more clutch he would’ve ended the game sooner…WITH HIS MIND.
oh, i almost forgot my daily message to spencer
Ringer > Wells
sparty…im being 100% honest, no sarcasm, joking, all that stuff…but you can’t seriously believe that can you?
eh, the again i think sergio and phil are better than tiger, so i guess anything is possible.
So is Rick Riley working for TBS?
it is kinda like the the Barry Sanders vs Emmitt Smith argument. He is doing more with less. Would he be putting up the monster numbers in a more balanced offense? Probably not. but he makes the team go. I do not find it a fair comparison.
the the = deleting a previous thought and not reading the new one.
thanks for the QS reminder sparty.
the views and opinions of spencer096 do not represent majorleaguejerk.com as a whole. in fact, we all think that’s a batshit crazy statement.
how do you fucking green light a prequel to I Am Legend?
i will give you that…to a certain extent…
i watch ohio state games. their offensive line is worse than yours. ohio state doesn’t have a WR worth a shit (except for true frosh devier posey). they have terrelle pryor and that’s the ONLY reason they’re any good when beanie isn’t out there.
we all WAY overrated this team…myself singled out.
you put beanie in there…it’s a complete 180.
clown…it’s true man. those two guys are better golfers than tiger. just not better COMPETITIVE golfers…that’s the difference.
Hmmmm, CC laboring, go figure.
spencer-my concern about Javon is that he is going to break down because of how many carries he is getting. They need to get a passing game going.
sorry stigs.
Oh shit. CC sucks sucks. Ill still take him over Javier Vazquez.
Shit man the Mets could have done better than this…In the first 6 innings of each game.
you mean st. ignatius’ own hoyer aint cutting the mustard?
not surprised…saw that dude in HS…he sucked.
hey, do you remember a QB recruit from like…1999 named dan larlham? he went to sparty and almost won us a state champ (we won the next year).
don’t recall him Spencer. we were rolling with Bill Burke and had a young Ryan Van Dyke backing him up. Was suppose to be the star QB of the future, but Smoker stole the job from him.
The Buckeyes are a better team than the Trojans. They just aren’t a better “competitive” team than the Trojans.
/spencer
yea, smoker took over for him.
clown…seriously, i was wrong about OSU this year. happy?
and sergio and phil can do things with a golf ball that tiger would only dream of doing. tiger’s just more consistent on the course and doesn’t brain-fuck himself.
watching sergio or phil on the range is golf porn.
honestly Spencer, if we can duplicate last seasons success record wise, and maybe take another step with a bowl win, i will be satisfied.
Next year’s team is the one that is going to be built for taking the next big step. even with the loss of Ringer.
baby steps, sparty…beat michigan first.
like seriously, beat the ever-loving shit out of them. fuckin’ finish what wisky started and couldn’t do. fucking twat ass michigan…
i can’t believe we haven’t beat them since i was strolling the streets of E. Lansing. The Clock Game.
Anyone know what channel the debate will be on tonight? I need something to watch at the gym.
cubs-booooooooooooooooooooo
I’m guessing NBC, ABC, CBS, PBS, ESPN, ESPN2, CSPAN, CSPAN2, MTV, CMT, VH1, FOX, ABC Family, Fox News, CNN, MSNBC, CNBC, USA, FX, TV Guide Channel, and the Food Network.
sg, any of ‘em. all of ‘em that are on front of you
/Palin
Every channel.
Shove it up your ass, sparty.
Thanks, the rest of you dudes for your help.
i was just being a cubs fan.
/fixed for truthiness
no no. if i was a yankees fan it would have been more like this,
“Hey, SportsGal? YOU SUCK!”
Shame on you, when you step through to, the Ol’ Dirty Bastard, Brooklyn Zoo.
Anyone else think it wouldn’t have been a bad idea to throw CC in game 3? Isn’t this his 2nd straight start on short rest?
i think it may be his 3rd.
He’s gone two games in a row on 3 days rest. What a waste of the best pitcher on the team… I don’t even like the Brewers that much and I’m pissed.
Damn. That’s a lot to ask of the guy. Win or lose, it’s a lock Brett Myers goes home and beats the shit out of Kim (wife) tonight.
I think this is CC’s third time in a row on 3 days rest.
Oh and ill, sparty and Sportsgal, if you want your AL MVP picks to go up on the site e-mail me. Top 5. Who you think should win, not who will win.
so ill, i asked earlier over at TBL, how did you become a Bammer fan?
seriously…tampon commercials make me nauseous
do you want reasons why? or just the picks?
no just the picks.
i miss that old commercial about the daugher asking her mom if she douches
Sparty – To answer your question on TBL: I became a Bama fan my freshman year of college. I played ball at a school on NC that was 7hrs away from my home. When we got long weekends off or breaks from practice in the fall, one of the Junior pitchers was from Alabama and would take me to family events down that way. He took me to two Bama games and I was sold. I grew up to UMD football, so needless to say when I had the SEC experience I fell in love.
Was there a tampon commercial on TBS? or are you watching something else.
Fetch you’re right, I should have clarified, I meant his previous two games were only on 3 days rest (wasn’t including this game tonight).
needless to say when I had the SEC experience I fell in love.
did you see a doctor afterwards? you should probably contact the police as well.
SG…i was watching the golf channel. a TAMPON commercial on the GOLF channel.
i’d love to see the demographics that watch the golf channel.
i kinda zoned out and didn’t swith back to the baseball game.
Ill thats crazy because my boy is from MD and he is also a BAMA fan
You should get over your tampon aversion, spence. Quit being a pussy (ha ha ha ha), it’s not a big deal.
The only people that watch the golf channel are old guys at home, and old guys at country clubs.
Tampa – the high school football around here has gotten much better but, like basketball, we lose all our hometown recruits. Fucking Blows.
i know…it’s really immature i guess. whatever.
ill…well, so does derek anderson. and me. so there…eat it.
maryland is a growing recruiting hotbed.
OSU has a few players from that area and a few big-time ones from MD on the way.
nice big chew in for werth and counsell…gotta love it.
Derek Anderson should watch more film…
My college roommate my junior/senior year would always brag about all the football recruits that Penn St would steal from MD. I hate UMD, fucking assholes lose all the good talent. I hope all the recruits OSU stole fail off or sell drugs or both.
Tampons are disgusting.
apparently fetch prefers feminine pads.
i agree, ill…DA needs to watch some film.
and if they did all the things you hope they do, shouldn’t they be on ‘bama?
Used tampons are more disgusting.
im kinda disappointed i even said the word tampon…enough with it.
1. If I was Derek Anderson I would only watch film of former high school classmate and 2007 (or maybe 2006) Playmate of the Year Sara Jean Underwood.
2. I don’t know what that is, Sportsgal
3. ND just got a shoutout on Countdown. Woot!
4. I know there’s no politics on here, but Sarah Palin is a dumb bitch. Holy.
Tampons make good bookmarks, preferably not used ones.
Blow me spence.
I think tomorrow we will be asking the question… Worse approach last night: Sara Palin or Brewer’s hitters?
Do the VPs already know the questions they’re going to be asked? You forget SP is a former beauty pageant, she’s used to being asked the tough questions and answering on the fly. God it would be so funny if she sounded like Miss South Carolina tonight.
“U.S. Americans such as the Iraq…
I wouldn’t go as far as saying she is a dumb bitch, but she is not qualified at this point to be a VP. wait, nevermind.
As if it isn’t gay enough to wear eye black patches, every football player now writes the most random shit on them.
They’re college kids. College kids are stupid. Look at fetch!!!
I wish I was at Wanny McStache’s tonight…
I picture fetch looking like a younger version of Craig Counsell
sportsgal you know i’m the smartest guy on here. it’s ok to admit it.
and yes, eye black patches are gay, but eye black is cool.
That a bar?
I agree about eye black
Apparently no one here listens to the Dan Le Batard show. They’re turning some bar into Wanny McStache’s for the night. They’re having an all-stache themed menu and watching the Pitt-USF game.
I totally forgot Supernatural is on tonight. That just perks me right up.
I don’t really listen to any national radio, only local.
I currently have a short beard and have to attend my buddies wedding this weekend. I told him that I’m going to shave the dirtiest mustache ever for his wedding and hit on old women.
DVRing Smallville so I can watch it and calm me down after the VP debate gets me all jazzed up.
Sparty, it’s a pretty good ep. Wait till you see what the Green Arrow does.
Sparty – I love your boy’s argyle sweater vest. I rock one to work every now and again.
/I miss cfb. come back Vols. come back to relevancy…
ill-thanks. you cannot go wrong with the argyle.
btw-thanks to all of you for your kind words regarding that post.
Never worn an argyle vest in my life. I look like horseshit all dressed up.
My wife is driving home so that we can get there before the debates start. I’m about two sheets to the wind and I plan on getting about four more.
fuck politics
great, Hef is so fucked up that he is already geared up to skewer everything Palin says.
fuck the Vols.
amen
fuck beanie
Fulmer is poo-poo.
Palin bangs dudes.
/true story
Fulmer is fat.
Barack Obama has fathered two black children.
/also a true story
I’m about two sheets to the wind and I plan on getting about four more.
I call BS. The old man will be passed out before she pulls in the driveway.
Obama’s wife is a babymama.
/math
Hef , how’s the manishevitz wine?
hef is gonna be off the wall tonight.
Brett Myers beats women
/well documented
Also, does anyone have an iPod touch?
I have a walkman.
I drink Hefeweizen. Get it? Hef-eweizen?
i have a boombox that i walk around with on my shoulder.
I don’t get it.
/radio
Re: “i have a boombox that i walk around with on my shoulder.”
true story: I play racquetball on wednesdays and yesterday we got kicked out of our court because some guys reserved it to practice break dancing.
i can’t believe i just laughed at that.
Gwen Ifill is really black.
“Can I call you Joe!?”
the FUCK!?
“Gwen Ifill is really black.”
/NickP
“Can I call you Joe!?”
the bush camp taught her that.
There’s zippy chance I watch 2hrs of this.
Biden is smooth. Eat a dick, Governor.
Soccer game on Saturday? What’s wrong with a hockey game on Saturday? Oh, right. We’re not Canada.
she does sound a little robotic right now
Kids’ soccer game?!?! Hahahahaha!
ill she went there right away she would be a great soccer coach
whats wrong with Bidens eye
glad I got that black joke out early, Tampa Bo is here.
I agree, Tampa. I’d do her.
Jesus christ she really referred to him as the Maverick
THE CLINTON ADMINISTRATION!!!
A few names that you can’t self-apply:
1. Love machine
2. Poet
3. Maverick/new blood
This is bad. Hef she sent a shout out to the Jews “Never Again”
Biden’s neck looks like a turkey.
I really hate this bitch. She’s such an idiot.
ugh, Hockey Moms? Tell her this ain’t Canada. Those do not exist in this country.
SG-what in her actual content was idiotic?
Soccer Mom reference in 3….2….1.
Liar!!!
Sick burn, Joe.
voting record references are stupid.
Thats really easy to do in a shit state.
Why do sisters always wear such bright colors?
the backround is black, you want to be able to see her, don’t you?
/Just playing Tampa
They’re so dark they want to be seen.
/Doesn’t date black hoes
Her comment on Fanny and Freddy taking advantage of Americans by offering them higher loans than they could afford (essentially saying people shouldn’t be accountable for their own actions), she uses terms like “joe-6-pack,” and “hockey mom” in political debates, and numerous other comments that make my head spin.
she seems very nervous.
Can I see a titty?
How many Johnny Black Labels did Joe have prepping for this?
Bridge to Nowhere!!!!!! BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRNNNNNN!
Damn He Just starred her down. I fucks with Joe.
“Her comment on Fanny and Freddy taking advantage of Americans by offering them higher loans than they could afford”
People should be accountable for their actions, but they did prey upon the foolish.
If you tell someone that is irresponsible with their money that they can have a loan, with nothing down, they are gonna take it. You help them by telling them, no. Fuck you and grow up and then you can have a loan.
JW Blue > JW Black
Nobody should be able to get a home loan w/o putting 20% down. EVAR.
Rek, I agree but Joe is from the streets, he doesn’t go top shelf.
Look I dont want to hear any more about the state of Alaska, it doesnt count. Do that shit in Texas you wont break out shit.
Wrigley is hopping right now. My windows are closed, my TV is up fairly loud, and I can hear them screaming.
break up*
SG-Tell me what you hear in about 2 hours.
/fixed
Sparty, I’m so glad you live in a blue state and your vote won’t count.
Sadly, my vote won’t count either.
“Sparty, I’m so glad you live in a blue state and your vote won’t count.”
you assume that I am voting for McCain, don’t you?
Sportsgal, you live in Illinois. Your vote ain’t worth shit.
she saying decent things, but at the wrong time. she needs to stick to the format. she is killing herself. Biden doesn’t even need to talk.
I’m voting Obama, so my vote will help win the state.
I know energy, because i know we have lots of oil in Alaska.
I see her lips moving but all I can hear is “blah blah blah do you want me to rip my close off blah blah blah”
Im glad he didnt pick Hillary. It would be like an episode of Orange County housewives.
Biden makes Palin look like a R-tard.
I just heard “drill, drill, drill” and all I could think of was Palin.
I do hate how frequently Obama and Biden use the word “fundamental”
I bet she likes Drill baby Drill
hey, is Palin from Alaska??
I still cannot believe that McCain didn’t get Romney.
ill obviously you didn t play sports
did she just say nukular?
“Raping” sounds better.
Note to self: before participating in VP debate, learn other candidate’s last name.
Senator O’Biden?
ah, throw the faggots out of here. drain on our society.
Obama just got Nick P’s Vote
i havent read all of the comments here but i gotta tell you…if SG heard anyting from wrigley last night it was nervous murmurings of “oh shit” and “oh not again”
fuck these pollyanna cubs fans…i drank away last nights game
zambrano, harden, then lilly?
advantage CHC
and guess what…even if the ;lose and you guys rail me the entire winter – well to that i say FUCK YOU in advance…as for now….go cubs
I didn’t hear him say that Obama was white.
So adults can choose their own sexual partners but raped women can’t choose to have the bastard child aborted?
Yea Fuck them Faggots
gays evil. baby, no.
Mikey – I for one will not be railing you. Maybe SG, but not you.
foreign policy- biden is gonna really crush her now
“Do you agree with Biden?”
“I agree with the words he said if he says that he agrred with the um lack of distinction between marriages…”
Nice one, Imig.
/not sincere.
Too bad Bristol Palin didn’t have a plan for withdrawal.
I know your against early withdrawl.
/Pregnancy joke
yeah fuck it. Tina Fey would have done just fine.
Time for Iraq to spend its own money? Amen to that.
thanks ill….sorry about earlier today sparty
UMMMMMMM OOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
um, how are you going to end this war?
mikey, a-ok buddy. shhhh. go watch the cubs now.
rekcalsa has been just on fire with the comments lately.
Say it one more time Joe!
can someone tell her that when she is addressing Biden, to look at him and not the camera.
In Sarah Palin’s world: You’re in the army= good
You’re not in the army = bad.
FUNDAMENTAL!!!!
Fundamental. F-U-N-D-A-M-E-N-T-A-L. Fundamental. please use it in a sentence, or 20.
evidentally you guys arent watching the important baseball game…you are watching the trivial “world changing events” on the tube….or reruns of SNL
“I know your against early withdrawl.”
Tha’s funny Tampa.
Seriously, can she answer a question? Just one question. It’s ok if you want to bash Obama, Sarah, but can you please at least stick to the issue asked of you when you do it?
Told you sparty. Dems favorite word.
Damn I was saving that for SG
Fuck Israel. Fucking Jews. Oh, hey Dad.
Palin just accused someone of naivete. Ha!
Wow…she just got Achmedinejad right, but can’t pronounce nuclear?????
Look man its fucked up so bad we need to go back to the Fundamentals to clean up this mess.
Joe has a small tie knot. Pet peeve of mine.
how long is the debate on…ill check back after?
They just booed Derick Lee when he just struck out.
She sounds like W. What a dope.
Israeli/Palestinian conflict = lost cause
/sorry hef
Mikey, debate’s on for 2 hours.
3rd person, Joe? He’s been training to Ricky Henderson tapes.
Third person? Hes gone Bob dole on me.
Dude, not all Jews are pro-Israel. I’m a friend of the palestinian too.
ill-he is wearing a Soprano collar, so the knot is a four in hand knot. proper usage of knot.
Biden knows his foreign policy, I’ll give him that.
damn Tampa…you gotta be quicker on the keys.
Tampa, did they really boo Lee?
i ssomeone going to do an “Under the Mic” recap of the debate so I can read it later after the Cubs win?
You stupid bitch America is fucked up. We have to look back so it doesnt happen again. Oh with the Maverick again.
sparty they did
I’m a maverick. You all are followers. I ruffle feathers.
/dummy
sparty – go f yourself.
/only familiar with the windsor
Can I send a shout out to Iraq.
TB…they wernt booing him…they were all saying ‘”Shooooooot” at the same time
personally, that 3rd person shit reminds me of Elmo.
fucking cubs fans suck.
They are all booing right now!
Biden takes some deep sighs.
OH shit what wrong Joe. She stunned you for a sec.
He sighs because he has to debate a mental midget.
Bosniacs?
did he just say Bosniacs?
Sparty -I was gonna say that Biden breaths into the mic like Big Pun or Biggie did when they rap’d.
ok, good, you heard it too.
Biden sucks. Palin sucks.
/Why aren’t you douchecanoes watching “Sunny?”
1-0 Dodgers only 1 out.
Hef-Derosa choked.
Fuck Philly and Sunny.
I guarantee you Palin didn’t watch the old debates. She thinks Alaska shouldn’t even be a part of the country.
oh, and Rocky.
Bases Loaded.
He went from (a), to (1), to (2)…good one Joe Biden.
“Bases Loaded.”
awesome video game.
2-0 Dodgers
“making sure they can get their kids to college”
i’m listen. i keep checking what tuition is gonna be, and it ain’t pretty.
Awww, typical White Sox fan, spends more time caring about the Cubs losing than his own team winning.
Philly isn’t on for three hours.
/West Coast’d
at least he has seen his team win.
A team of Mavericks? Stop. You sound like an idiot.
/too late
SG-Shut your mouth 5-0 Dodgers
My tuition is pretty low, Sparty.
CHOKE!!!
@Fetch-i am talking about the outlook 15 years from now. not good.
Haha 5-0 Dodgers, that’s great.
Joe Biden isn’t concerned with a’s, 1’s and 2’s. Joe Biden is about getting to the fundamentals of Joe Biden and those of Joe Biden’s American people. Joe Biden only does what Joe Biden feels is best for Obama and Biden’s campaign. Joe Biden voted in Congress the way Joe Biden wanted to vote. Joe Biden wasn’t flip-flopping on votes like Joe Biden’s enemies.
5-0?!??! Dodgers are the pwnzors!
You hear the boos!!!
sparty–”Bases Loaded” was the best baseball game for NES…Jersey was the best team with Paste as the cleanup hitter….”BL 2″ was pretty good too.
fuck the boos
She used “doggone it” and gave a “shout out”…now that’s middle class alright.
I hear the boos. damn.
I bet no one thought they’d hear a Shoeless Joe reference at the beginning of this.
Ill-Thats better than the soccer mom Maverick bullshit I hear from Palin. She needs to give up and start suckin…me first.
that was funny!
New post up. Round 2.
anyone miss watching Bubba during these. he was the best.
You hear that Energy Independence and Retards. Shes good.
“John McCain has already tapped me.”
Haha.
Wow, epic comeback sparty. You’re so brilliant! I’ve never heard that one before!
I can’t believe people fall for Palin’s “aww shucks” routine. How can anyone listen to this woman and think she would be able to run this country if McCain was unable?
To get back to baseball quickly- I definitely disagree with the Dodgers carrying Clay Kershaw on the postseason roster.
Can we fundamentally blow up Alaska…I am sorry..but Fuck I really hate Alaska at this point…I don’t care about your energy producing state you fucking stupid twat…Happy that you and Joe Biden like Isreal?…isn’t that special..Joe Biden has actually done something for Isreal in 35 years you looked it up on a map and met a UN rep…ARGGGGGHHHHH…McCain I actually like you why are you subjecting us to this rat fucking stupid bitch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
We have not got to allow? What is she saying?