Well folks, we’ve made it to the end of yet another shitty week. Really I have no idea what to put here. After two days of total boringness we finally had some sports last night. Baseball, football, hoc-key?, and even preseason NBA basketball!
In real world news, the stock market dropped even farther yesterday, and John McCain is in some deep poop. But seriously, who gives a shit about that, let’s get to the sports.
Phillies 3, Dodgers 2: Chase Utley and Pat Burrell hit back to back jacks, and Cole Hamels allowed 2 runs in 7 innings while striking out 8 hitters. For the Dodgers, Manny went 2-4 with a double and an RBI.
Wake 12, Clemson 7: Other than featuring one of the funniest FG attempts of all time, this game was just awful to watch. It was like watching an SEC game*
Leafs 3, Wings 2: Man that Detroit team is just a juggernaut. They’re probably going undefeated this year. Wait, what? They lost to one of the worst teams in the league? Oh ok. Wings fans, get on the Jimmy Howard bandwagon right now. Former Harvard Crimson Dominic Moore had a goal for the Leafs
Fetch you forgot to add that Cole Hammels is a faggot
hockey players are so cool. especially ones who blow their chin off with a rifle.
PHANTOM ASTERISK!!!!!!!!!!!
What a mailed-in Quality Start**
Shit. Fuck. Piss. Goddamit. Screw those fucking Phillies. The Declaration of Independance is gay. Ben Franklin went both ways. Rolling Rock tastes like Pocono buck piss. The Liberty Bell is cracked for a reason. Cole Hamel sounds like a NECKcar driver running moonshine for grandma on weekends. Ryan Howard’s nose looks like a mad love child of WC Fields and Babe Ruth.
Why even bother Philly? We all know if you win this series you’ll blow it in the WS. You just aren’t built for championships. Embrace the Philly Soul and stick it up your ass Bon Jovi.
whoa there…we don’t tolerate hate like that ’round hurr.
TJ Simers, calm down.
Yes…Yes…Feel the Hated…Use your emotions…yes
@Stigs
That hursts.
Obviously you don’t know your birdcage columnists. Simers would rip the Doyers and blame the loss on Juan Pierre’s arm (even though he didn’t play) and his daughter’s circumcision, which he would call Tommy John surgery.
Nug, he Tee’d off on Philly yesterday.
Laverne and Stigs. Don’t feel bad because the Brewers lost and they closed Shotz Brewery. The Big Ragu will make you feel better later.
God damnit I forgot to add the..
*joke stolen from Spence
Sorry Spence