“Hoes? Where we’re going, we don’t need hoes.”

-Dr. Emmitt Brown

Welcome to part 1 of a 4 part series about Halloween fashion. It should be a fun and informative time. Especially if you like scantily clad nobodies. We’ll discuss the history of Halloween, social mores as they apply to today’s Halloween and some of the theory behind different costumes. At least that’s what I told Hef.

Welcome to Part 2 of the 4 part series. It is my sincere hope that today’s installment is either half or twice as good as yesterday’s. Either way, here are some more girls who obviously have daddy issues.

Take this girl for instance. She’s dressed as a cherry pie. Excuse me – a hot cherry pie. As you can see, she won a blue ribbon. As anyone that drinks Pabst knows, that’s the first sign of a winner.

Of course, I’m legally obligated to link to Warrant in this instance. They just don’t write songs like that anymore. Perhaps if Warrant were here today, reading this blog, they would find inspiration and write the sequel to Cherry Pie that we’ve all been waiting for.

Here of course, is the Racy Robin Hood costume. I think I know what she gives to the poor.

Public Service Announcement:

Yesterday, it came up in the comments that I might be encouraging less attractive girls to dress like these ladies. I want to emphasize that we here at MLJ are major proponents of big girls staying covered up. We would back any legislation concerning size limits on these costumes 110%.

Our level of support would basically be the equivalent of Cole Hamels’ VORP.

So remember ladies – don’t wear clothes you shouldn’t. I feel like we shouldn’t have to remind you of this. Equal rights don’t apply to slutty costumes.

Anyway…

Here is a semi-related costume to the Racy Robin Hood above. This, is “Robyn Da Hood.”

No, I didn’t stutter.

See, by changing the hat, it becomes a more ghetto costume. They also changed the spelling of “Robin” to “Robyn,” thus perpetuating the stereotype that people from, “da hood” can’t spell for shit. Stop changing vowels!

Also, you have to appreciate the money sack with the dollar sign on it. I hope she gets away before that piano falls.

Finally, note the barbed wire on top of the brick wall in the background. There’s even graffiti on it. Now notice the castle on the left. It’s kind of like Hill Valley in the alternate version of 1985.

/Full circle’d

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