I have noticed that a friend of ours, let’s call him S O96 or Spencer O, was down in the dumps a bit about a certain football team based in Cleveland. Now, I happen to know how he feels. I happen to follow a certain New York based Championship football team that has a very similar story to Cleveland’s. Last year, my team got blown out in the Opening game against the same team Spencer’s did. They had a whole bunch of expectations going into the season and also had new players getting involved on the defense and they did not play very well. Things got ugly a week later when a mythical creature named Brett Favre game into the home of the future Champs and creamed them and made me and a friend named MonkeyKong leave the stadium very sad. But something happened. Something unexpected. That defense started to gel and they started to play well together. Their strengths started to cover up for their weaknesses and the offense did enough to win with a Quarterback, who was talented yet flawed, a bruising Running Back and a Dynamic Wide Receiver. They did not win the division. The Division leader was a much hated nationally followed football team that everyone thinks is very Bruce. Except clown who is very Bruce himself. Well, my New York based Championship football club made the playoffs, overcame a demon in winning a playoff game for the first time in 8 years and then went into the big bad national team’s home and beat the pretty boy Quarterback and the rest of his team of overpriced over hyped douchebags. In the process they ruined the owner’s facelift and made the Wide Receiver, who disappears in big spots, cry. They then went to the home of the mythical Favre and beat his old pathetic ass in the cold by intercepting his last pass in his favorite city and kicking a field goal by a terrible kicker to go to a big magical game called the Super Bowl.
In the Super Bowl, the Good yet flawed Quarterback rose to the occasion and the mighty defense held a previously undefeated team down and kept a victory within it’s grasp. Then they slayed the mighty undefeated Massholes by using a miracle play and the Dynamic Wide Receiver juked out an overmatched Ellis Hobbs to catch the winning touchdown. All of this should give you reason to believe Spencer. Looking at a certain Cleveland football team, I see a Good yet flawed Quarterback, a Dynamic Wide Receiver and a bruising Running back. I see a defense with some talent that needs to gel. I also see them in a division with a nationally followed team with a big time quarterback and I also see a certain mythic creature in a new city possibly giving a new team a chance to blow a Championship game. Now, do I think Cleveland’s football team can follow this path? I don’t see the same defensive line as the Championship football team in New York but they are not terrible. But there is one more X Factor that plays into Cleveland’s chance at following this fairy tail:
This guy is still your fucking coach and in no way will he lead your team anywhere but to the fucking buffet line. So no, your team is fucked. I hope you enjoy watching Joe Thomas waste his prime with a shit football team.
best post ever on this site. i got goose bumps. Roman is back!
It must pain you that the Patriots choking will be more remembered than your 3 fluke wins.
I weep over it as I wear my Super Bowl Champions t-shirt
Man, props to the authors today. The posts have been hilarious. You’re all manning (no pun intended) up.
Just keep fetch away from the QS and you’ll do just fine.
Actually clown, the “fluke” wins will be more remembered in NY.
You’ll see this when Plaxico commits a homicide as is acquitted in 32 minutes by a NY jury.
Those cats can do no wrong in this town.
*sniff* that was beautiful man…
/clicks on jump
go fuck yourself.
great money shot roman
such an emotional rollercoaster, but I do have to say, well played….
Derek Anderson was a mirage.
how dare you talk about sweet horse balls like that! i will smite you.
Roman, do you always have to bring up bad memories for me?