There’s Nothing to Click Here: Rex is hung over.

Daaaayum, I had a good weekend. How about y’alls? The 8th edition of the Grand Lake’s annual Barstool Open is now but a hazy, drunken memory. A 10am start, 13 bars, approximately 150 boats loaded with over 800 people boozing and playing mini-golf, all in the name of charity. Contrary to past years, we accomplished the 20 miles of lakeside bar-hopping without losing a single teammate to a tumble overboard. Whether it’s a sign of our growing maturity or the development of an amazing set of sea legs, I can’t quite be sure. All I know is that nobody trashed a cell phone this year and I was the last man standing after 10pm.

Last week, I posted a photo of a Barstool boat that was decked out in a Buckeye motif, covered in astroturf. This year, the Woody Hayes look-a-like captain of that boat came back strong with a Styrofoam-rendition of The Horseshoe, Ohio Stadium.

Oh, and it’s been 1,724 days since Michigan last topped the Buckeyes.
Poisonous nuts > Wolverines: It’s a simple matter of something we like to call “science”.

A quick note: Melissa Stark is working the NBC Olympic update desk. She is still flat out bringin’ the heat. Melissa, I know you’re probably a fan of the site. Call me.

There’s Nothing to Click Here:

The property bubble has burst, my Mom slashed my allowance, and Hef’s latest check has bounced yet again. Where should I turn? You are correct. I should buy a minor league baseball team. The folks over at Forbes.com have put together an interesting read on the finances of the minor leagues and the cash cows that the teams can often become. Coming in with a value of $22.1m, my hometown Dayton Dragons are the #6 most valuable team, which isn’t too shabby for an A-level affiliate of the Reds.

The sixth-ranked Dayton Dragons highlight another big difference between the major and minor leagues: For the former, winning is key to filling the ballpark; for the latter it is affordability (it cost a family of four about $50 for tickets, food and parking for a minor league game, less than one-third the cost of a big league contest) and non-baseball entertainment (most teams have an abundance of contests for fans as well as play areas for children).

Since being moved from Rockford, Ill., to Ohio after they were purchased by Mandalay Sports Entertainment in 1998, the Dragons have sold out every game and have a 10-year waiting list for season tickets despite several losing seasons.

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From the “We’ve all been there before, right?” Files, a silly Asian man gets his junk stuck in a park bench.

Last night in Hong Kong, the police received a disturbing call from a man in trouble.

Xing, a 41 year-old man, was calling from LanTian park in the middle of the night. The lonely and disturbed man had apparently thought it would be fun to have sex with one of the steel sit-up benches around the park.

The bench has numerous small holes in it, which Xing used to attempt to satisfy himself. However, once he became aroused he found that he was stuck and could not get his penis out of the small hole.

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Enjoy the baseball and softball of these Summer Games ’cause it might be the last time you see them played. Apparently the fascists who run the Olympics have decided that the sports just aren’t worthy of their grand stage. Talk about un-American…

the Swiss-based International Olympic Committee voted by secret ballot in 2005 to oust the two sports from the 2012 Summer Olympics in London, shocking players who said they had no idea baseball and softball were even on the chopping block.

The Olympic committee will meet again in October of next year in Denmark to decide whether to let the two sports back into the 2016 Olympic Games. Players said that made these Beijing games their last chance to show the committee why their sports should stay Olympic.

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Kosher Meat-packing scandal? Hef, you and your people should be ashamed. ash. amed.