Hello, loyal readers and hangers-on of my every fascinating word. I’ve returned from my vacation within a vacation and am recharged and ready to go. Great food (actually, ridiculous food), waaay too many bottles of Pinot and Cab, good friends, and boating with the rich folk. Lake Wawasee in northern Indiana to be precise. Beautiful place if you ever get the chance.

We had a group of 10 stay the first night, and by Sunday night we were down to five. The significance of this is that the heathens were gone and we could rock the good stuff. A buddy and I cooked for everyone all day, including but not limited to: giant sea scallop carpaccio and tiger prawn ceviche, smoked salmon with hard boiled egg, cream cheese, and capers, chorizo and queso blanco-stuffed and smoked poblano peppers, grilled scallop quesadillas, fresh gazpacho and guacamole, and 9 bottles of the good stuff. Words sure as hell can’t begin to describe it, but it was one of the greatest day-long meals of my life. It completely sucked returning from my vacation to my vacation. Lake Wawasee > Grand Lake

Lake Wawasee

Lake Wawasee

And for those wondering, nope. No date for the weekend. No cougaring to be done. It was a 100% vacation.

My date. Friends deemed this photo necessary.

My date. (Friends deemed this photo necessary as proof.)

I’ve got a few things I’ll be working on this week, most notably a freshening of the site due to the Sparty & Friends rip-off of this oh-so-original Wordpress theme. It’s probably a good time to do it since we’re heading into Labor Day weekend and you all have more important things to do than read my bullshit. Checking in to see how bad Jerry Lewis looks is always a good time-killer, maybe even kick a few bucks his way.

There’s Nothing to Click Here:

Time-Warner Cable and the Big TelevEN Network finally reach an agreement to show the few games a year each team must give to the BTN. Time-Warner Cable Customers shout, “Hallelujah, Big TelevEN Network!” Alternate headline: “Bar Owners shout, “We liked it better when it was only available on satellite!“.

I even did my first actual bit of “reporting” for this site. When calling my marina’s bar manager for reaction, he hadn’t yet been made aware of the impending economic disaster, but managed to issue the following statement: “Fuck me in the goat ass!”, whatever the hell that means.

This is being reported all over the place, but I’ll throw my Rex Love (not Migg’s-style) over to one of my fav sites, WaitingForNextYear.com (the most appropriately named blog in the entire world of blogs).

It will ensure that TWC’s customers in those states, mostly in the Midwest, will have access to Saturday’s Big Ten college football season openers and all future Big Ten programming on an expanded basic level of service, the network said.

As the boys at WFNY smartly point out with their headline: “Your Move, NFL Network”.

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Sign of the Impending Apocalypse, Part 12,567 in a Series of Infinity:

A fourth judge is joining Paula, Randy, and the British dude. She’s apparently a “songwriter to the stars”. The Apocalyptical part isn’t that she’s horning in on the ego space, or that nobody should even give a fuck, it’s that on Google news, it shows 768 news articles covering this story.

I’m not linking to shit…

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Cal Ripken, Jr., who, according to Hef and Spence, is the most overrated athlete since Michael Jordan, has bought another minor league baseballing team. He now has 3 to my 0, so for those of you scoring at home:

Canadian Gold Medals = 0
Cal Ripken, Jr. Franchise = 3
Rex Kramer, Danger Seeker Gold Medals and Baseballer Teams = 0

Oh, and there’s no immediate word as to any possible involvement of Cal’s brother, Billy “Fuck Face” Ripken.

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From the Dept. of [Insert Joke Here] comes the sad tale of a guy who simply ran out of time. Maybe this will cause people who write these damn go-getter books to back off a bit, or at least think twice before adding a chapter called, “Jumping on the bed is fun, fun, fun!“. Can the Chicken Soup people be next?

Too soon?

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