It’s official. I have secured an interview with a cast member of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia. Sometime next week my conversation will be right here. It’s a Major League Jerk Exclusive! Just in time for the site to go national [Remember to tell everyone to click the ads-TBL]. No, I will not give you any hints. I wish I could write as eloquently as Rex did yesterday, but he has a way of using words and turning them into poetry. Bravo, Mister Kramer. It was your best work, by far.

Rex invited me out to his boat for some cougaring this weekend, but I had to pass. I haven’t banged a 40 year old since I was 20. Now that I am in my mid-thirties, it’s more of an adventure to get some teenage tail. Plus, I’ve lost my mojo, and young girls are too dumb to realize that (Yanno the best thing about high school chicks? I keep getting older, and they stay the same age. Zinger!). Cougars would rip me apart. They would text their friends and write on their blogs saying how lame I am. No, I can’t handle that anymore.

Wish me luck this weekend kids. I’ve got some poker to play on Saturday and I’ve been jonesing for some candy the past 2 weeks. Yanno Tyrone Biggums? Yeah, it really is true that people who are feening are scratching their necks like crazy. It’s a sad feeling. If this keeps up, I might have to write here full time in order to afford my habit. OK, I’ve said too much. Onto the links…

-My favorite Phillies blogger, Meech of The Fightins finds video of a guy who enjoys watching Pat Burrell fondle his wife. This is the funniest Phils site on the ‘net. And if you like this link, then you should visit every day. Very funny shit (Can I stop now Meech? My knees hurt) [The Fightins]

-Imagine being a reliever and sitting in the bullpen for 2 hours doing nothing but spitting seeds, chewing some chaw and looking for nice tits in the stands. Metstradamus goes one further. He overheard a conversation between Billy Wagner and his fellow penmates. Even though this is the site of a mortal enemy, he is terrific. Especially when the Mets are playing like shit, which isn’t that much lately. Roman, you should put this guy on your daily reading schedule, if you haven’t already. [The Musings and Prophecies of Metstradamus]

-Dick Joke night at Citizens Bank Park. [Hugging Harold Reynolds]

-Our sister station has a new blogger on the roll. The only thing we learn here is that he has a very small bladder. And he loves giving oral. Mizerle loves company. [Sparty & Friends]

-Click this link and get a boner, courtesy of Kyle Orton. [The Big Picture]

-Mikey explains why Cubs Nations has crabs. [100 Year Itch]

-You want in depth coverage of the NFC West? Really? Keep in mind, this is written by our good friend Nug, who lives in a city that hasn’t had a pro football team since last millenium. [Sparty & Friends]

-It’s time for Jerk Tube! Here’s a look into how Rex reels in the ladies by trolling the bars at 2am. [NSFW]

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B2v-AkSj260]

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