There’s Nothing to Click Here

I really don’t know where to begin. Today is a strange day for me. Cruddy weather. No boating or jet skiing, and golf is just a pipe dream. It’s oppressively humid. Local farmers have been spreading fermented turkey poo on their fields (keep that in mind the next time you enjoy that oh-so-delicious sweet corn or that whole-grain loaf of bread). Seriously, you haven’t lived until you’ve been in a humid climate, the air heavy with the foulest thing you’ve ever smelled. It’s like following up Uncle Bob when he leaves the john, sports section under his arm.

I’m gonna git right to it since I really have nothing to ramble about.

There’s Nothing to Click Here

EXTRA! EXTRA! Jason “Raj” McIntyre, aka The Big Lead, our hero, role model, mentor, and fitness guru, was a guest on today’s Dan Patrick Show (approx 50 minutes in). As one would expect, it’s related not to any of the interesting posts, news, or interviews that The Big Lead brings to us on a daily basis. No, it’s more of the same old Buzz about blogs, privacy of athletes, posting pics of their boozing, etc, and specifically, photos of Jimmy “Way Fucking Overrated” Clausen.

Was it a matter of journalism or purely entertainment? My own opinion, those posts, especially the relatively benign shots of Clausen, are played out. Find me any underage college kid who hasn’t had a beer. (Fetch, doesn’t count. He’s in high school) Sure, the Brady Quinn photos are amusing and bring about some great commenter lines, but it begins and ends there.

It was a brief appearance, a cliched interview by DP, and all I really got out of it was that his intro song is reeeally long and almost sinister sounding, and that his sidekick is kind of douchey. Other revelation? As one astute listener, and mega-fan of this site told me, Raj sounds just like Christian Bale whenever he’s in the Batman costume. It’s uncanny.

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Another athlete goes down in flaming ball of shit? This time it’s Eli Manning.

Authorities responding to complaints of excessive hooting and hollering on a 15-acre farm owned by New York Giants quarterback Eli Manning discovered an illegal frog-jumping ring Friday, leading to the arrest of Wilbur Jefferson, Manning’s second cousin and the farm’s only resident.

I’m sure it’s only a matter of time before some creative type comes up with a blog called “Second Cousins of Eli Manning“.

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There’s actually a sport known as “College Hockey”. Who knew? The apparent shut-ins at The College Hockey Blog even dedicated a site to it. In their in-depth coverage of pre-season rankings, they are of the opinion that Minnesota is #2 (much like that football program. hay-oh!).

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For those of you who haven’t heard, our own Hef H. Heflerington, IV made a movie, premiered it at a carnival of some sort, and may or may not have taken a medal higher than bronze. I really don’t recall. My Google Chat crashed as he was boring me with the details, but I think I got the right link. I don’t really know what to think of Hef’s “art”, but the immortal words of former Dr. Funke’s 100% Natural Good Time Family Band Solution lead singer, Tobias Funke come to mind:

Douche chill

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In closing, and in the spirit of the impending olympic Games, I present to you one of my all-time favorite SNL sketches. As a senior project, a couple of friends and I even recreated this. If my buddy’s Mom hadn’t taped Guiding Light (Reva Shane Lewis: The Original Cougar) over the betamax tape, I can assure you that I would have posted it here.

[googlevideo=http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=4122944961711350389]