Never to shy away from our civic duties, we here at MLJ have taken it upon ourselves to help find Aaron 
Harang (right). One of the best pitchers in the NL from 2005-2007 (FIPs of 3.59, 3.64, and 3.70, respectively), Harang has been missing for the Reds the entire season. Sure, someone wearing a Harang jersey has thrown 130 innings for the Reds in 2008, but that someone has not been Aaron Harang. With a FIP of 4.80 and an ERA of 5.59, the imposter has pitched more like Jeff Weaver than a perennial Cy Young contender. In a Cincinnati season mired in suck, Harang’s disappearance has been arguably the toughest pill to swallow.
There is an as of yet unsubstantiated rumor going around Cincinnati that Harang was kidnapped sometime before the 2008 season. It would take a real sociopath to concoct such a scheme. Who could possibly be capable of stealing a great pitcher in the middle of his prime? Who would want to see (another) excellent pitcher’s career end just as it was starting to heat up? If you have any information, please call the MLJ Help Line. An artist’s rendering of just such a potential deviant appears after the jump.
Rot in hell, Dustbucket. Seriously, man — just die already.
What the hell is FIP?
/Murray Chass
What the hell is FIP?
/clown
What the hell is FIP?
/Hef
Dear Baseball Stat Geeks,
I love baseball as much as all of you and I want to know more and be part of some of the fun baseball discussion. Unfortunately, like the IT guy at my company, you choose to throw stats at me, not explain them and then talk down to me because I am “unenlightened”. Maybe by taking the opportunity to give a short tutorial on these stats more people can understand them and see where your arguments come from. Of course I understand your little cult and know that your lack of pussy prevents you from stepping down from your superiority pedestals. But maybe just maybe if you help us out we might agree with you. Just a though.
Sincerely,
A guy who gets Laid
Easy Roman. If you’ll notice, the MLJ stat of the day has been transformed to be more accommodating to the less educated in stats. Please tone your condescension down a notch or two.
Sincerely,
The Boss
Boss,
Since I know you get laid (last night was wonderful) I was not referring to the newly revamped Stat of the Day. I may have been referring to other lesser lights who fade in your glow and shrink in your glory. Hooozaaaaah.
Sincerely,
Sweet Cheeks
and for that, I thank you.
Dear Sweet Cheeks,
Apologies all around. Feel free to rip Nick and Fetch a new one whenever their heads get too big.
Hef
Hef, The Nug doesn’t think too highly of your Cards.
Nice Whoring sparty
i’m an internet slut.