Major League Jerk

I have just witnessed something so tremendous, so transcendent that I am still at a bit of a loss for words. I just saw the first ever overtime eat-off in the Nathan’s Famous Hot Dog competition. Kobeyashi vs Chestnut. And who came out on top you ask? Joey Chestnut. American. Just like World War II, the Japanese came on strong but the American persevered. Unlike World War II, no one died. Also unlike World War II, it involved a bunch of losers deep throating hot dogs. I learned a few things today. There is a Major League Eating Video Game, which of course I am going to add to my Christmas list. They lowered the time of the competition from 12 minutes to 10 minutes which is supposed to help lower Cholesterol. And of course there are a ton of losers with nothing better to do today then watch a hot dog eating competition live. Well, I am off to the store to buy some last minute provisions for my small time BBQ. Tonight at 7 (U.S. Standard TIme) the Mets and Phillies battle to see who is more mediocre. I was going to say more about this series but I have run out of words to describe the Mets as an enigma. Let’s just say I think I know everything I need to know about the Mets. But they could really show me something this weekend. Plus, they don’t have to face Hamels. That’s always nice. So Have a Happy Fake Birthday America. And may Hef blow many bottle rockets out his ass.