Our intrepid young writer, Fetch, goes to the University of North Dakota. He talks about it constantly and more importantly he likes to remind us all that the farmers daughters who go there are grade A, top notch pieces of ass. Well, color me intrigued! I am going to breakdown a fourth wall around here. We, the 9 authors of Major League Jerk, actually spend a lot of time IMing and e-mailing each other. Add that to the constant TBL comments and of course the endless comments on here, let’s just say we talk a lot. Well, Fetchie, I call him that because he is such a young rapscallion, got very comfortable with me one night and sent me all the pictures of the girls he hangs with up in North Dakota. He asked me not to tell anyone, but after seeing the amazing hotness of these girls, I could not resist.
This right here is Betty. Now Fetch tells me that Betty won Miss North Dakota for like 3 years straight. And boy can I see why. He told me to check the length of those nipples. As a wise man once said, boobs are like a birthday cake on a table, you glance at it and move on. The nipples are like the candles, you could just stare at them all day. Woo doggies, I can’t stop looking. Fetchie is a self proclaimed legs and ass man. Let’s just say, Betty has a rump with the bump da bump. Unfortunately, her legs are a little thin for that ass. But Fetch ain’t complaining.
Now Fetch was telling me about a MILF he was really into. Met her at a library. As you can see, she has a lot of Betty’s charm and looks but I think she let herself go after having her baby. Fetchie don’t care as long as he ain’t the baby daddy, she can keep on keeping on. When it is the kid’s weekend with the father, Fetch has a special weekend planned. It involves heavy petting and possible some milking to release the pressure if you know what I am saying.
Now Fetch has a fantasy girl. Perfect ass. Perfect legs. The way he likes it. Bessy here is the chick that Fetch strives for. Now she is high maintenance, especially for North Dakota standards. I mean how long could she possibly spend combing that hair? And she is never happy. I mean why the long face? I only see Fetchie’s heart getting broken.
This was a girl Fetch met while he was roaming around the vast countryside of North Dakota. He was on his way to the only computer that the state has, when he saw this hottie and snapped a picture. She had the Fetch patented Legs and Ass but she also had a nice chest, and since Fetch knows I like titties, he sent me the pic. He told me I would never see a girl that compares to her in NYC. Man is he right.
Well, that is a bit of a taste of the hotness of the Girls of the University of North Dakota. I just called Playboy to get there asses up there for a pictorial. But before I go, I just recently made a facebook account. Well, Fetch wanted to be my friend and I accepted. Once I was there, I saw what Fetch meant by hotties with great legs and a great ass.
Umm, Fetch. Stop e-mailing me.









Let’s do a quick standards checklist:
1. Is this about baseball? Nope.
2. Do you act like a jerk? Hell yeah.
It passes my standards. Nice job, Roman.
i think that buffalo…er, thing with horns, is a tranny.
dont ask me how i know.
Where does he act like a jerk?
Might warrant a Non-MLB Post title though. I love it.
Hef, that guy in the middle looks like Mitch when he was super hammered. i still have to send you those pictures.
stigs…fortunately I gave it the old non-mlb tag so all is good
nice. didn’t see that.
Stigs: I thought the same thing. That’s funny.
I knew exactly what was coming, but I still laughed when I jumped.
CRM…Afternoon Roundup Link? Maybe? HMMMMM?
/whore
North Dakota > Wisconsin
We don’t have enough bandwidth for the Hotties of the Universtiy of Wisconsin
RWH, you know only link to stuff fetch writes so I would never link to such slanderous bullshit.
Try these e-mail addresses:
tips@deadspin.com or will@deadspin.com
It’s just the kind of maybe-true-maybe-not foolishness that I think they’re looking for.
I am sorry Cronkite…I forgot
Only people with widescreen monitors could see the UW hotties, anyway.
Well done RWH, someone really needed to bring attention to the diversity sexual partners within the different regions of this great nation. So ND are cow fuckers? To each their own.
uh…UW hotties are legitimately stunning. Madison is Austin, TX North.
anyways, there’s already a site for UW smokeshows…busted coverage
Oh my god Roman that was hilarious. I laughed the entire time. Excellent job.
There is hot chicks in WI. trust me on that fellers.
from the horse’s mouth…Roman’s penis size
hilarious stuff roman love it
miz…you have been holding on to the comment for a year? Wow…just wow.
UW Madison has tons of hot chicks because most of them aren’t from Wisconsin.
dood, I have a wealth of knowledge available also known as the TBL Most Viewed Posts
it’s funny reading some of the old commenters on some of those posts. most of them aren’t around anymore and were easily offended.
Since Fetch’s dream girl is timestamped 2 years ago, does the law need to get involved? That would put her at about 16, while Fetch was 18 yrs old at the time.
Are the Dakotas more lax about such things?
Rexy…since everything in ND is really about 2 years behind the rest of the world, that pic was actually taken last week.
sportsgal – true. Madison is like the center of attraction for Wisc. talent. Go anywhere else in the state, and the girls are usually transported by pickup truck.
I’m starting to fear that this site is losing it’s direction. It seems like most posts are just put up to slam our blogging brethren. Totally has to end…. in say…. a half hour.
that is not true. milwaukee has a bunch of hot chicks. lots of girls from Illinois and the east coast also go to Marquette. and UWM gets a lot of hot chicks from Minnesota too. other than Madison and Mil, they are pretty subpar though.
StalkingErin, actually I have to disagree. If you’ve ever watched Deadwood, they’re brought in by horse-drawn, wooden-caged carts.
the city with the hottest chicks per squal mile is miami. and its not close. sorry
Its so cute how you guys stick up for the awful fat chicks in your terrible fucking states..there are hotties I swear..please…please
vegas…sorry.
Cortes, I gotta agree. Miami (OH) has some serious tail. Good call, bro.
OK stigs, let me rephrase my statement. Madison and every other decent-sized school in Wisconsin has hot chicks because they’re not from Wisconsin.
Half the kids from my HS and most of my friends either went to NDSU or UND and so whenever I would come home on leave, I would go hang out with these guys. I have to say that in 98, there were a lot of hot women attending those universities. I was at the UofM for a year, and UND and NDSU definitely had a better “view”.
Just my two cents.
No way Vegas beats Miami Spencer.
Michigan? dear lord, unless you love love-handles and pale and obnoxious (and can stand chicks who root for an awful football team) then you’re shit out of luck at tSUN.
of course…nothing beats Miami Spencer, Miami Spencer is a force to be reckoned with. but Miami on the other hand? they don’t call it a Vegas 10 for nothing.
Stripers aren’t people.
*strippers
sorry, drugs have kicked in.
the hottest big 10 chicks are at Michigan St, Ohio St, and Wisconsin.
The Ugliest? Northwestern, Michigan, and Minnesota.
Its Science
I’d put Indiana before Ohio State in the hot chick list.
And Purdue before Minnesota in the ugliest.
I forgot Purdue!
stigs – you’re making my point for me. There is little talent in Wisconsin. It’s all imported.
Who cares about anything to do with the Big Ten? The only girls that matter go to the ACC, SEC or PAC 10.
The big10 has 5 of the top 10 largest student populations in the country. With that many people, you are bound to have some hotties in there.
The smaller schools do have talent, but it is on a smaller scale and thus easier to pick out.
Oh and throw Penn ST in the hot group. If you wanted to go to a Big school and MN wouldn’t have you, there was always Penn ST!
Not every hot chick goes to school in south or out west, SIZE QUEEN. If you visit Chicago, there are tons of hot chicks and most of them went to one of the Big 10 or MAC schools.
Size Queen…i dunno this is pretty nice for some b10 ass.
http://www.bustedcoverage.com/?p=3878
ACC over the Big XII? No f’n way.
Having banged my way through much of the Big 10, I gotta go with IUPUI or tOSU-Chilicothe as the
hottesteasiest dames.I know very little about attractive college girls. I only went to ASU.
Hef wins.
fucker
Whoa sportgal, must have hit a nerve there. So you’re comparing one city in the midwest against LA, Phoenix, Miami, ATL, etc… Get out of town much?
yeah, but hef went to ASU before airplanes were invented.
I’m not the old person on the site. That’s Roman and Rex and sportsgal. Remember?
@clown,
Big Xll is solid, but not sure it’s a clear-cut winner over the ACC. Clemson, G Tech, UNC, FL St and Miami are pretty solid.
Hef. got. served.
/shanoff
who cares if the chicks are imported? i’m saying they live here now. all big cities are filled with people from other cities.
university of texas >>>>>>>>>>>> anything the ACC can trot out there
personally tho, i like Oregon’s booty population. good looking, skinny cuz their vegetarians and they have awesome chronic.
tho the only chick i knew who went there was a dirty hippie.
I’ve been to Phoenix, LA and Atlanta. What does that have to do with anything? My argument was on the level of hot ass that attended the Big 10. It has nothing to do with Chicago.
Hef, I’m 25 asshole.
Sportsgal is 25.
Sportsgal is 25.
Sportsgal is 25.
Sportsgal is 25.
Sportsgal is 25.
Sportsgal is 25.
Sportsgal is 25.
Sportsgal is 25.
Sportsgal is 25.
Sportsgal is 25.
Sportsgal is 25.
Sportsgal is 25.
Sportsgal is 25.
Sportsgal is 25.
Sportsgal is 25.
Sportsgal is 25.
Sportsgal is 25.
Sportsgal is 25.
SG is that 25 squared?
I just reprogrammed the system, sportsgal. It’s now a fact. Lie your little heart away now and no one will find out.
I’ve only been to three Big 10 schools (Indiana, Penn St and Wisc) and FL St crushed all of them.
ESPN – Women’s Golf
ESPN 2 – Women’s Tennis
Fuck.
Thank you, Hef. I was going to have to sue you for defamation of character. You were impacting my ability to hook up with younger guys by calling me old!
Size Queen, that’s like saying
Appalachian St could go into Michigan and winGonzaga football got crushed by Texas.stigs…that question didn’t help your cause
sportsgal…everyone wants a older woman, experience is awesome. i hooked up with a 28 year old chick once and my world was officially rocked.
Sportsgal is way older than 28…
You will have to look elsewhere, spence.
Oh yeah, I’m just BEGGING dudes on sports blogs to hook up with me. Every time I make a joke about offering up BJs, I’m being TOTALLY serious.
Hef…i have no sex drive anymore, hooking up is a thing of the past.
sportsgal..you aren’t..way to tear down the 3rd wall…way to go
roman, she can take a joke. probalby.
Attitude
Do the words in CAPS emphasize you rolling your eyes?
Yes sq, you’re SOOOOO smart!
SG…my wife is a couple of years older than me…if that gives you some hope
SG, I only joke.
Is there a more demeaning profession than a ball boy/girl in tennis?
Some hope for what? Not every girl thinks her life is over if she doesn’t get married and have kids.
http://www.livevideo.com/video/C46125C546F44895AC5ABCA30DE9BE17/how-to-bunt-in-baseball.aspx
SG…I thought that is what validated you as a woman