So since we don’t …yet… do the normal bloggy thing of posting daily lists of links to send you to other places, we might as well acquiesce and show you some skin. We humbly present to you the “Miss Major League Jerkette o’ the Month”. This is open to any and all babes who frequent this site, which after a rousing success of several thousand visitors during our first month, includes exactly one commenter babe. So, ladies, start firing those photos in to majorleaguejerk@gmail.com and when Hef stops desecrating them with his patented move (illegal in 23 states, unless he takes out the pinch and replaces it with a swirl), the rest of us may get a crack at judging your Jerkette o’ the Month worthiness.
Our June Jerkette o’ the Month comes to you via the Windy City of Chicago and goes by the name of Sportsgal116. Besides an amazing wealth of sports knowledge, “she” (we can only go by what “she” tells us, and the photos “she” provided us) brings to the table one rockin’, if not entirely her’s, body. I had the distinct pleasure of removing my pants and sitting down with the Gal via a lively Gmail interview.
Today seems to be your breakout day, in terms of the blogosphere. Congrats.
Thanks. Obviously TheBigLead was my first choice, but only because I’ve seen his rockin’ triceps. RomanWarHelmet’s FUPA put you guys in a clear 2nd place.
You’re clearly a cool chick, so what’s your favorite movie? Guessing it’s not Beaches.
No one on earth has just ONE favorite movie, but if I have to pick one, I guess I’ll pick Young Frankenstein.
Okay, then drop a quote on us.
Yet again, I call BS on this question. Impossible to have one favorite movie quote. I quote Tommy Boy, Mel Brooks movies, Ghostbusters, Princess Bride, Wayne’s World, Old School, etc etc
You seem to be one of those sports fans with odd allegiances (although clearly not like Irish…). In 10 words or less, why Detroit teams for some sports and Chicago for others?
It’s Detroit for one sport and Chicago for everything else. (Interviewer’s note: She might as well have said, “Threeve”)
What’s your “around the house” beer? “In public” beer?
I don’t really drink at home since I live by myself and I think it’s depressing to drink by myself. When I go out, I like to drink Goose Island 312 or Fat Tire, Old Style at Cubs games (F all the Old Style haters), and Miller Lite if I’m boozing for a few hours.
Is it possible to get gonorrhea from a tractor seat?
It better be, or else I’m going to have to start calling some dudes to give them the bad news…
Obligatory lame sports question: If you could have dinner with 3 athletes, who would they be?
This is the easiest one of the bunch, Walter Payton because he’s the greatest running back in the history of the NFL, Steve Yzerman because he’s the Captain, and Ryne Sandberg because he’s my school girl crush and he’s still hot even without his hair.
Favorite Chicago Sports moment?
Oooh, this is a tough one. Wrigleyville during the 2003 playoff season was awesome (pre-Bartman of course). It was also pretty sweet when the Bears beat the Seahawks in 2007. Hell, even the White Sox victory parade after the World Series was cool. I’d say the Bears get the #1 slot.
During the course of this interview, I noticed that your IM message lists you as “available”.
And your question is…?
No question. Just an observation. Does that disappoint your Mom, Spinstergal116?
You promised this would be funny. Next question.
We’ll start to wrap this up with a tougher question: Better prop comic? Gallagher or Carrot Top? In 500 words or more, why?
I personally believe, U.S. Americans are unable to do so because, uh, some people out there, in our nation don’t have maps. and uh… I believe that our education like such as in South Africa and the Iraq, everywhere like such as… and I believe they should, uh, our education over here, in the U.S.should help the U.S. or should help South Africa, and should help the Iraq and Asian countries so we will be able to build up our future for us.
And finally, is being named the 1st (and likely only) MLJ Jerkette o’ the Month your biggest honor to date, and if so, how sad is that?
“And that’s just really sad…” Wayne’s World
Thanks, Sportsgal116. You’ve been great. Can I put my pants back on now?
It would be appreciated.
You had me at the tramp stamp pic.
now I have a cute face to put with the bangin’ body I imagine in my dreams…
you’re a cool chick, sportsgal
Suck on that, Barbara Walters!
this is gonna break the comment record.
both hands above the keyboard fellas.
Wow, my back tat really IS sweet-looking!!
I don’t believe Rex (or any MLJ staffers for that matter) is capable of actually talking to a woman, even if it is only via email.
You do realize your myspace friend requests will exceed that of Tom Anderson, right?
WhoDey, I could be wrong, but don’t we actually have to be compensated in order to be “staff”? Hef keeps witholding wages earned until the content is up to his standards (whateverthefuckthatmeans).
The tramp stamp serves two purposes for me.
1. Excellent positioning for my hands
2. Target for 5 roper
Soon sportsgal is going to be the most downloaded woman on the internet.
@sportsgal. I was in wrigleyville in 2003 when the cubs won the division series. What a rowdy time.
How dare you set foot in Wrigleyville during the playoffs, Cardinals fan!
@Rex – sorry, I defined the term “staff” loosely.
/That’s what she said.
3. coaster for beer while banging out from behind
/RWH
sportsgal is 5′11 and has terrible taste in music? Deaf midgets will be lining up around the block!
i work for 30 minutes and i come back to this?
i need to quit my job.
oh, and btw, that was the worst interview EVAR. Nomo, Matt Lauer you are not (is he a good interviewer? i dunno, i just wouldnt have felt comfortable saying Rachel Nicols, but then again, every question wasn’t fucking, “so how do you feel about this…” fucking Rachel Nicols, i hate that twat.)
im gonna interview my b0ng.
@sportsgal. How do you think you won the division series then lost the LCS. It wasn’t just divine intervention.
miz..I am totally over sportsgal..she doesn’t take it in the poop shoot
Yet
@RWH: just because she’s not “into” it (http://majorleaguejerk.com/2008/06/11/all-your-buttocks-are-belong-to-snakes/#comment-3785) doesn’t mean she doesn’t do it. don’t give up so easily.
Since we’re back on this topic again, I need to ask a serious question. Which would you prefer, a BJ or buttsecks?
one word: buhtseques
buttsecks everyday and twice on sunday
ATM… problem solved.
bong rip…er…BJ.
im not really into the whole “putting number one into a hole where poo comes out” thing. it’s just me.
we’re talking recieving right? then BJ, looking at face much better than back of head
BJ. Nothing was meant to go IN that hole.
buttsecks
That’s where the strategic placement of mirrors comes into play, monkey. (see: Psycho, American)
If that really is you Sportsgal, I must say that you have a great set of…….teeth.
ATM =a ss to mouth = the ultimate popsicle.
Putting it in the butt is like caviar. It sounds awesome until you try it, then you realize it is all just a bunch of over-hyped talk. BJ any day of the week. Unless of course you are offered a ZJ…
yuck stigs yuck.
Im no connoisseur of the older women, I’m a younger girl guy myself, but hot damn sportsgal.
my friend told me the story when he got his first morning blowjob from his ex. fiance. he thought he was about to bust but then he realized he was actually peeing in her mouth. then she realized what was happening and it was way awkward. they dated for 3 more years and he said the blowjobs were very infrequent after that.
hilarious story but really, no wonder she gave the ring back.
This is sooo much raunchier than TBL: After Dark. Being unbeholden to such respected advertisers as Chinese Ladies for Marriage certainly has it’s privileges.
sportsgal…i had to get some shit doen for work, but i was perusing the comments on your music post, and i noticed your hatred for OAR. good stuff, they can all burn in hell for all i care. fuckin game of poker, fuck that shit.
OAR is terrible. every song is about a revolution or something. +1 jewStar to both of you for hating them
stigs…ever get hammered, hook up, and then stumble into the bathroom in the morning to take a piss only to realize you still had the condom from the night before on? yea, it’s a sticky mess.
benji, you have some crazy friends. One of them hits on 15 year old girls, another is peeing in his GF’s mouth… I hope to never run into your crew at Summerfest this year.
spence the easy way to avoid that is no condom
therefore, buttsecks. no condom needed for buttsecks; can’t get prego
someone said blowjob > anal up there, too lazy to check, but i agree.
Wow. Step away to actually get some things done today and come back to this? That post had potential until the questions continued to suck. You let me down MLJ.
spencer, the condom is usually fed to the dog way before that. jk. that has never happened though.
sportsgal, it wasn’t a friend that was hitting on the 15 year old. a friend of a friend. and again in his defense, no one knew she was 15 til the next morning. and she was in a bar.
Oh and def BJ over BS/ATM/ZJ. There’s a certain greatness that comes from effortless pleasure.
Guys, now that you have drooled all over yourself….neither of those pictures are of sportsgal. She doesn’t have any tattoo’s is better looking and not nearly as old as that chick.Pay not attention to anything behind the strikethrough. It’s just the ravings of some man who also says there is no Santa.
Also:
BJ from sportsgal > buttsecks with any female
lucky bastard
I think cockblocker25 is just trying to keep us from defiling ourselves to those pics.
diesel…can I smell your fingers for 10 bucks
I’m disappointed at least the top one isn’t sportsgal. Now I have to imagine a face too again.
I’m not trying to ruin anyone’s defiling fun but the honor of sportsgal was at stake here.
Who are you going to believe, Mizerle? A dude without a blog, or dudes with a blog? Blogging = Credibility. At least that’s what I took out of the whole Costs-Bissinger piece.
Honestly, if you guys thought the blonde chick is hot, I can only imagine what you’d do if you saw a real picture of me. The thought frightens me, actually…
back to the actual interview, sportsgal came across as a cool chica, but there needs more than 13 questions/points for any future jerkettes of the month.
seriously though, isn’t that chick one of those teachers from Florida who banged their student?
mizerle, it could have gone on for days. she’s just that engaging. everyone should be so lucky to scam on some sports babe under the guise of an actual interview.
besides, next month, she’ll probably be it again, with just a different pic. feel free to email me your questions.
I just don’t know who to believe anymore, rexy. I’m very confused.
pki, i don’t believe so. i dont think sportsgal’s a teacher.
I’ll think up something deep.
yeah Miz…she is the female demo for MLJ..so get used to Rex’s Jerkette of the month..she might wind up being Jerkette for life…sportsgal…I would never associate such trash like the picture above with you…I associate a whole different level of trash
/still hurt by the Female RWH commnet
well if that’s not sportsgal, its time to find out who that chick is.
yeah Miz…you should have heard Rexy last night go on and on about Sportsgal…he said and I quote “If she was 55 years old I would definitely date her. But she’s not so I will go out and by depends and tuna fish and dream the dream.”
Mizerle, most girls your age are often confused. Your body is going through strange yet wonderous changes. The path to womanhood should be embraced, so talk to your mom or an older sister about this miracle. If you’re uncomfortable with them, or they were killed in a tragic blimp accident, we’re here for you.
Hugs,
Judy Bloom
that’s either a teacher that banged a student or a DUI chick i think. i think i remember seeing that picture awhile back and reading why she got arrested.
at least you know who/what your female demographic is. makes it easier to pick your adds to link to.
yeah…we are in talks with Abe Frohman…the Sausage King of Chicago
thanks for the support rex, er, judy
Since you’re all ruining the magic. CRM, regarding the height thing, when I originally made the height hashmarks, the big one just at her neck said 4′. Almost left it to see how long it would take someone to question the freak’s 2 foot tall melon.
When Al Gore “invented” the Internet he was masterbating to a RexKramer college thesis on Larry Flint.
True story. Flint did get his filthy start in my hometown.
I can’t believe you guys thought that was sportsgal.
If you’ve ever seen Playboy’s 1998 edition of The Girls of the MidWest Junior College Conference, you’ve seen her. They did a better job of photoshopping out the 3rd nipple than I ever could have, which is why I covered it with that shitty representation of the MLJ logo.