Major League Tease
No, we’re not talking about my prom date (alot of guys go to prom when they’re seniors in college, right?). I’m talking Hef, the ASU Homo Homer ”Journalist” + Super Regional Tickets = The rare college baseball post come manana. He’s been live-blog texting me all night, so we might as well subject more than just li’l old me to his insights.
Pressing issues we want to know about:
- Was Barry Larkin wearing a cabbage leaf on his head to keep cool in that 145 degree heat (dry heat, so it really feels like 68)?
- Is ASU 3rd baseman Brett Wallace Jim Thome’s son?
- What kind of bear is best?
- Fifteen (yes, 15) Sun Devils were drafted this year. How come they’re not smoking everyone getting pounded right now?
- Ken Griffey, Jr hit his 600th HR tonight, bringing this response from Hef, “That’s only 598 major league homers more than me.”. Me thinks someone’s been drinking too much smuggled-over-the-border Corona. That shit’s thinned with urine, Hef. Be careful.
- Oh, I aaaalmost forgot… what in the hell were Hef’s boy, Ike, and Thome’s son doing rolling around on the infield during pregame? Just because ManRam and Youkilis do it doesn’t mean that our youth need to start emulating these guys. They’re athletes, not role models.
And Fresno St. just went up by 4 6 in the 7th. Hef…cannot…be…happy.
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Comments
RexKramerDangerSeeker I’d be less than truthful if I didn’t admit it was just an excuse to photoshop that pic.
fetch I’m OK with it.
I saw a guy texting on TV, looked to be in Hef’s demographic. I’m saying it’s him
RexKramerDangerSeeker Yeah, Hef is definitely “that guy” you always see douching it up behind homeplate. I’ll bet he missed at least half the game while trying to get me to say something he could texterbate to.
clown Rex, see if you can message him some good ol’ Brazilian Fart Fetish porn so we can see his reaction.
RexKramerDangerSeeker Someone wanna register Texterbate.com?
1.) coin phrase
2.) ???
3.) profit
Clown: Done. I just so happen to have it on my phone.
stigs rexKramer, funny pic.
was your 3rd bullet point supposed to say what kind of beer is best?
RexKramerDangerSeeker no, “bear”. it’s from The Office.
And this is one hell of an exciting 9th inning.
RexKramerDangerSeeker Jim: [Dressed as Dwight] It’s kind of blurry. [puts on his glasses] That’s better. [exhales] Question. What kind of bear is best?
Dwight: That’s a ridiculous question.
Jim: False. Black bear.
Dwight: Well that’s debatable. There are basically two schools of thought—
Jim: Fact. Bears eat beets. Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactica.
Dwight: Bears do not— What is going on— What are you doing?!
stigs hef loves team that have 3 errors in a game. that looked like a young hef they showed afterwards in the all maroon. that would be hilarious if it was him.
RexKramerDangerSeeker I could be wrong, but I think someone from The Colbert Report reads this site. Colbert just made a Mustache Rides: 2 Dinar joke, which I sorta made earlier today. At least credit MLJ, dammit.
Colbert, you are on notice.
RexKramerDangerSeeker thenug, as you can see, Hef chooses to bury my posts in the off-peak hours. Nobody reads this shit out of the office. Soon it will be pushed down the list by his various TBL knockoff posts and disappear into the ether.
I refuse to believe you actually did a post.
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