Finally, the Mets make an announcement that should have an effect on their pathetic offense. No, no, they didn’t go and get a power hitting first baseman, second baseman, catcher or rightfielder…that would cost actual money. The Mets have announced that they are cutting their Centerfield wall in half! What a move! Instead of actually trying to upgrade the team with “above average major league talent” they decided to cut down a wall with the hopes that their marginal major league talent can capitalize. Well done, Mets organization. I mean what is losing a bit of home field advantage for our pitching staff when we can up Daniel Murphy’s home run total for 12 to 13! I am sure Adam Dunn, Ryan Howard, Hanley Ramirez, Chase Utley, Jimmy Rollins, Jayson Werth, Ryan Zimmerman, Larry Jones Jr, Dan Uggla, or Emilio Bonifacio won’t take advantage of this change as well.  Read the rest of this entry »

Nothing To Click Here is the collective effort of the entire MLJ staff. These are just some of the things we come across in our daily reading. The links contained within are either extremely well-written, thought-provoking, funny, weird or simply awesome. If you have any suggestions please send them here

Chris Berman might leave ESPN, making it slightly more watchable.  (MSF)

Breaking News: NFL Players don’t know much about the economy.  (NQTC)

Steve Philips thought it was prudent to weigh in on the Tiger Woods sex addiction stuff.  (7th Inning Stache)

Having tried none of the other final four teams,  I’d have to say Chris Bianco gets the sympathy vote edge in this field of 64 pizza bracket. (Serious Eats)

The MLJ Video of the Day brought to you by LittleBuddha reminds us that being mean to the woman you love is the only way you can truly show you care.

After the jump, something about the references made in Taylor Swift songs. I don’t think I’ve ever actually heard one so I’ll take their word for it. Read the rest of this entry »

So I read this after the awesomest Mexican trip in the history of Mexican trips and my cheery, albeit tired mood instantly takes a turn for the worse.

The Indians are looking at Jermaine Dye?

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO, a million fucking times NO.

I swear to LeBron, if Dye is signed, this will be the last straw.  The final straw in my Indians fanhood.  I mean it…I’ll abandon the Tribe and move to a team that actually gives a shit.  It’s not just that Dye is awful (because, as a baseball player, he could be worse), it’s that if the Indians sign him, they’ll be waving a white flag to the rest of the American League that they’re simply not interested in winning.

Yea, fuck giving that money to Cy Young caliber pitchers like CC Sabathia or Cliff Lee, what we need is an aging, slow moving, power hitter with iffy power getting $10+ mil for a season’s worth of work that will no doubt end with him shutting it down with an incredibly questionable injury.  This is the only possible scenario.

Stats aside (and that’s saying a lot about a guy who threw up a .179/.293/.297 after the All Star break), performance aside, skill set aside…Jermaine Dye should still be considered unsignable.  Why?  Because he’s a straight up faggot, that’s why.  Dye is one of the biggest piles of shit in all of MLB.  He’s a straight up douchebag.  He likes meat in his seat, wears his keys on the right, and really, I’m not sure he’d even be able to sign a contract considering he has dick in his hands at all times of the day.

Fuck Jermaine Dye.

Dolans…consider this a warning.  If you even HINT about making a move regarding Jermaine Dye, not only will I become a Yankees fan, I will spend every single waking hour making sure that the worst kind of vitriol is spewed all across the Interwebs.  I will stage protests.  I will throw Molotov cocktails at the Jake Prog.  You do not want to cross me, Dolans, by forcing Shapiro to sign Jermaine Dye.

Consider this your warning.

While most teams who decide to erect statues outside their ballparks choose influential and important ballplayers, the Milwaukee Brewers are going against the grain by erecting a statue to Bud Selig.

That’s right, the Brewers are unveiling a statue of the commissioner before an August 24th home game against the Dodgers.

Said team owner Mark Attanasio:

The Brewers and Miller Park are in this city because of the commissioner’s vision and dedicated efforts.

He later went on to praise the steroid era, the ‘94 strike, the awesome changes to the All-Star game which dictates homefield advantage in the World Series and his general hygiene.

Good morning friends of excellence.  We have made it home safely and soundly and are attempting to piece together the events of the weekend without relying on our memories which are almost certainly unreliable and thus unworthy of being relied upon to tell the story of our fine trip.  Before I go any further, I’d like to thank Intern Jace for doing such a fine job last week covering for us.  There are few men who can keep the content level of our site the exact same quality while still moving in a different direction but Jace is one of them.  Boy is he one of them.

There really isn’t much to tell really.  We drove down to Mexico, posed for pictures and ate food.  We didn’t speak to each other nor did we particularly enjoy each other’s company.  Most of us aren’t very likable people to begin with so it’s no big surprise that we had such a lousy time in such a godforsaken country. Read the rest of this entry »

In the last year, the Yankees have gone out and acquired such players as CC Sabathia, Nick Swisher, Wade Boggs, A.J. Burnett, Curtis Granderson, Mark Teixeira, and Javier Vazquez. And that’s just who I can think of off the top of my head without looking it up*. Within that timeframe, they’ve also managed to win a World Series title. You’d think after all that, they’d rest on their laurels, whatever the fuck that means. But no, not these guys. For today, they’ve gone out and trumped everything they’ve done in the last year by announcing the signing of America’s greatest living ballplayer, Mr. Marcus Thames.

According to Jon Heyman’s twitter, it’s a minor league deal worth $900,000 if he makes the team. If he makes the team? Pffft. That 900k is as good a guarantee as you’ll see in this world. The rest of the American League can pack up their shit, I guess.

* They may or may not have acquired Wade Boggs

We’re currently on our way back from Mexico and Intern Jace is passed out on his couch after consuming too many Appletinis so there will be little to no content today. We will resume alienating our readership tomorrow.

NO 31, Indy 17: That was fun.

Man…Mexico rocks.

Good evening, cockbags! The game is upon us. It is currently 75 degrees and sunny in Point de Rocky Mexksico and I am close to finishing the first handle of Captain. In the midst of trying to call home (/thanks for the phone clown) Hef reminded me to write UTL. He said this with a huge napkin wrapped around his big toe since he cut his wittle toe on a shell. WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I cut my toe WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I am looking for attention. (Don’t tell me to get off the hightop chair again. /waves at 7 people). Anywho, I have nothing much to write so I asked the collective group what their Super Bowl predictions are. After the jump, picks to be used for gambling purposes. Read the rest of this entry »